30 by 30

Apparently this is a thing. I didn't know this was a thing until the other day, but the idea intrigues me. Unfortunately, I am only 10 months away from my 30th birthday, and from what I can tell by a basic Google search, this is a list you should be working on for a good decade. Depending on how this pans out I may do a 40 by 40 and give myself a full 10 years, but I tend to give up on and/or forget about goals pretty regularly.

Anyway, I figure I need to go pretty easy on myself if I want to finish 30 things in 9 months.

1. Go skydiving

This one should hopefully be pretty easy since my plan is to go skydiving for my 30th birthday already. Easy stuff, remember?

2. Go see Magic Mike Live show in Vegas

Again, this is a trip I'm already planning on doing for my birthday. It's going to be amazing.

3. Pay off student loans

This one will be pretty tough, but I'll give myself some leeway. Right now I'm on track to have these paid off about six months after my birthday. "By 30" technically means "before 31," right?

4. Watch 100 best movies 

I'll probably end up shortening this to 50. Or 10. Cause right now I'd have to watch about 3 movies per week, and while I watch a crazy amount of TV, I don't watch movies all that often.

5. Play clarinet again (learn a song)

This will be hard. Maybe I should start with "play the clarinet enough so you don't sound like a beginner."

6. Play piano again (learn a song)

This will be easier. I think.

7. Start knitting a blanket

I have a nerd blanket all planned out, but figuring out the patterns has been really difficult so I've stalled on that one. I'll be happy if I just get one square done.

8. Get buff

It's arbitrary, but I don't like not having muscles. Of course, this would require that I start going to the gym again and doing weights, which intimidates the crap out of me.

9. Grow out hair (touch shoulders)

This list is a work in progress. My hair hasn't touched my shoulders since I was 18, so this may be hard to pull off.

10. Start up Omage-o-Meter again

I have another blog where I watch every movie they referenced in the TV show, Spaced (based off of the (Omage-o-Meter captioning on the show) and review it and/or ramble while referencing the references. I stopped after 5 movies because I couldn't get through 2001: A Space Odyssey. Also I went to grad school.

11. Write in journal regularly

I used to be good at this. It probably wouldn't be too difficult to be good at it again.

12. Learn to make paella

Classic Puerto Rican dish that my family has every Christmas. Surprisingly, I've never helped my mom make it. I don't cook, but I need to at least know how to make that dish.

13. Read something - Les Mis? Count of Monte Cristo? Presidential biography? 

Something big. Something I've been meaning to read for a long time but haven't. Or in the case of Count of Monte Cristo, something that I love but haven't read since high school. I'm bad at reading these days, so this will be tough.

14. Go camping

The last time I spent the entire night outside was in 2006. Well, not including the night I slept in line at Comic Con for Hall H. Can that count?

15. Add photos to portfolio 

I have an actual portfolio of some of my favorite photographs just for myself, but I haven't added anything in years. Maybe since high school. I just bought a DSLR and I need something to motivate me to get good at photography again, because right now I suck a lot.

16. Replace windshield

Half way through this list and I'm already scraping the bottom of the barrel. But I only have 10 months (plus a year grace period)!

17. Think of 13 more things to add to this list

An Open Letter to Game of Thrones Watchers

Spoilers for both the show and the books.

Dear Game of Thrones Watchers,

I was once smug. I knew the fates of Ned, Caitlin, and Robb. I knew what happened to Joffrey and Khal Drogo. I never said, but I knew and I liked knowing and I was smug about it. We all have our vices.

But now, it's here. The day in which you become the smug show watchers and the smug book readers are knocked down a peg. Today is when the show officially delves into uncharted territory that may or may not be explored later in the books.

(I say "may or may not" because the show has veered WAY off course and at this point David Benioff and Dan Weiss are just writing fan fiction even though they technically know how George R.R. Martin is going to end the series. It was Jeyne Poole who was pretending to be Arya that married Ramsay Bolton and escaped with Theon Greyjoy, Tyrion hasn't met up with Daenerys, Ser Barristan is still alive, Stannis Baratheon hasn't died, nor did he gratuitously burn his daughter alive, and Catelyn Stark is still in the mix [in a manner of speaking]. Martin himself even said that the show wasn't able to do something he was planning for the books because the character involved was dead. But my annoyances with story changes are not what I came here to write about [I just have to mention it every time I talk about the show because COME ON, THESE ARE POINTLESS CHANGES YOU ARE MAKING AND THE SHOW IS SUFFERING BECAUSE OF IT!])

*Deep breath* I came here to write about the fact that the show is now officially ahead of the books, changed story or not. I know Jon Snow dies. I can't say I know he's coming back because I can't know anything until I read it, but I am 99.9% certain that he is because he is the literal personification of ice and fire (based on the L+R=J theory, something else that I'm 99.9% sure of). I think I have a pretty good idea of how he's coming back, but I could be wrong. Apart from that, I know nothing, Jon Snow. And that makes me sad.

I am tempted, though. It would be so very easy for me to turn on my TV and log into my friend's HBO Go account and watch the premier. Within an hour I would know better the fates of Dany, Jon, Arya, and Bran. And I would enjoy it (while simultaneously wanting to throw one of my ASOIAF books at the TV).

But at the same time, I would be spoiling myself for when I finally read The Winds of Winter. It won't be a thriller anymore, but a very in-depth recap and I can't do it. I won't. I want to read the real story and I want to read those surprises first.

So please, show watchers, please remember those of us who have forsaken the show but not the books. Some did it for spoilers, some for gratuitous sexual violence, others for the story, and some of us did it for all of those.

You can judge us for not watching. Many of us judged you for not reading the damn books (which were SO much better [except for A Dance With Dragons]) so it's only fair that you judge us for not taking one measly hour out of our week to watch the show. Just please, for the love of all that you find holy, don't spoil anything. Yes, there were a handful of dicks who spoiled things for you, but most of us were harmless smugs. I deserve your smugness. I deserve your judgement. But I don't deserve your spoilers.

Sincerely,

A Song of Ice and Fire Fan

In Defense of Porn

Utah declared pornography a public health crisis today. I've been passively watching the whole Fight the New Drug fad for some time now. My first thought was no more than a "huh," because I didn't have a strong opinion of porn. When it started I might have tended to agree with its position, but the more I looked into it, the more I disagreed. As the movement grew, I would occasionally grumble to a couple of people close to me, but whatever. If people want to try to evangelize not watching porn without actually looking at the research (or lack thereof), go for it. But with this new declaration from the governor, I really need to get a few things off my chest.

In order to do so, I'm going to go through the "facts" from Fight the New Drug's website. A group, by the way, started by two Mormon boys who don't have a background in neuroscience.

Before I start, I need to point out that good research in this area is severely lacking. I say good research because most of the stuff that Fight the New Drug cites is garbage (I would say all, but I didn't look through everything. Everything I did look through was useless). These guys are not researchers and they don't know how to find good data. Which is why all of my information is from SPAN Lab's website and studies. Go read them. They're one of the few unbiased groups studying this.

1. Porn is Like a Drug
2. Porn is Addictive
Sure, your brain likes to look at sexy sex. Want to know what else your brain likes to look at? Puppies and chocolate, both of which make your brain do the same thing as it does when watching porn. I'm not saying a compulsive feeling to look at porn a lot isn't a thing, but there's no evidence that it acts like a drug. This "fact" has been debunked.

Also, what isn't called "addictive" these days? Smartphones, sex, tanning beds, the internet... In the scientific and behavioral health communities, the term "addiction" has some very specific requirements, and again, porn doesn't do to your brain what addiction does.

3. Porn Affects Your Behavior
4. Porn Addiction Escalates 
Want to know how garbage the research on this website is? They cite a Reddit survey on a sub-Reddit called NoFap ("fap" is a slang term for masturbation). REDDIT, GUYS! If you don't get why this would infuriate me, let me know and we can chat privately. Anyway, the point they make is that people who watch lots of porn are twice as likely to think that bestiality is twice as common as those who don't watch porn (from another crap study with a clear bias). Then they say that if you think something is common you're more likely to try it. Jumping from someone saying there's a 2% prevalence of bestiality to a 4% prevalence is hardly enough to call something "common." Nowhere is there evidence that porn causes people to try bestiality.

You know what people who do watch porn do? They try different positions (which is fun!). Women self-stimulate during penetration (which increases orgasm!). They find people who are into the weird shit they are and have weird consensual sex. One thing that probably will turn out to have some truth in it is men who watch degrading or violent porn changes their view of women for the worse. I say some truth because recent studies of sexist video games have shown that playing those games doesn't make men sexist, but they reinforce sexist ideas that men already had about women. And, although FTNG would like you to believe that people who watch porn get into weirder and dirtier stuff as time goes on (there's that Reddit survey again), there's no evidence that happens regularly.

5. Porn Ruins Your Sex Life
6. Porn Leaves You Lonely 
7. Porn Hurts Your Partner
These things sometimes happen when people view porn, but do you want to know something? It's not porn that is to blame, it's shame. I didn't mean for that to rhyme. When a sexually repressed person (and there are a lot of those in the Mormon community that founded FTNG) does something that they are taught is sinful, they're going to feel guilt. You know what guilt does? It isolates you. This is not exclusive to porn. In fact, people who view porn are actually more likely to say that it has improved their sex lives, and having couples view porn together is a pretty successful treatment for sexual dysfunction.

8. Porn is a Lie
Sure. Are they really saying this is big news though? Advertisements, TV, movies, books, guess what? All lies! Ergo, all those things must be evil. The problem isn't with porn, the problem is with kids getting their sexual education from porn. While watching Avengers with my young nephew, he asked if what was going on really happened. His mother explained that no, it's just pretend. These people are called actors and there are computers that make things look like they're really happening. If only kids felt that comfortable talking to their parents when they see sex online.

9. Porn Leads to Violence
Nope. Fist of all, when they say that 88% of scenes from 50 videos contained violence, that included things like spanking, which plenty of people like in real life and is perfectly benign if both people are into it. That stat is misleading to say the least (like everything else on this terribly researched website). There is no reliable evidence that porn leads to men physically, emotionally, or sexually abusing women. Again, based on similar studies, my assumption is that certain porn will reinforce certain tendencies, but it doesn't create them.

10. Porn's Dirty Little Secret
I don't have any particular issues with this section, mostly because everything they talk about is anecdotal. I agree that there are major issues with the porn industry. Unfortunately, it's like anything else we consume - food, clothing, electronics, everything is potentially created from exploitation. If you want to give up porn because of industry practices, I won't judge you any more than if you give up meat because of slaughterhouse conditions or only buy American-made clothing in order to avoid sweat shops.

11. Porn Hates Families
This goes back to 5, 6, and 7. It's about openness and communication. If your partner doesn't want you looking at porn, talk about it. If they don't want you looking at specific kids of porn, talk about it. It's not black and white. Nothing is.

12. Porn's Harm is Changing Fast
Interesting claim, considering most of the studies about the effects of porn they cite are outdated.

Listen, for the vast majority of people, porn isn't going to ruin or change anything unless you let it. Be open with your kids. Talk about it in a way that doesn't shame them. Talk about it with your partners in a way that doesn't shame them. And please, for the love of all that is holy, do actual research before you jump to conclusions. So many of the studies FTNG cites are outdated, are terribly done and not able to be replicated, have a very clear bias against pornography, or were sponsored or paid for by an organization that had a bias. If good research comes out consistently backing up everything these guys say, I'll gladly eat my words. But so far, what little is out there does not reach the erroneous conclusions these guys do.

My Reaction to X-Files Season 10 in Gifs (hard g)

The much anticipated 10th season of the X-Files ended yesterday. I had many feelings and what better way to convey those feelings through Dana Scully gifs?

When I heard about season 10 being greenlit and that both Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny were involved:




Episode 1: My Struggle




Episode 2: Founder's Mutation




Episode 3: Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster




Episode 4: Home Again




Episode 5: Babylon




Episode 6: My Struggle II





Yes, the last episode warranted two gifs.

If you want to know my thoughts in word form, Devin Faraci does a pretty perfect job.

And yes, I will be watching the next season (because it's going to get a next season).

Hope and Bern: In Which I Attempt to Make People Remember 2008

Does this seem familiar to anyone? 

Is it just me or is there something about this election that I've seen before? 

Really, does anyone remember the 2008 primaries? 

Okay, let me back up.

Full disclosure: I voted for Obama in the 2008 primaries. However, I did not buy into the whole Messiah thing that was going on in 2008. I mean seriously, people were RIDICULOUSLY excited about him. And it's good that I wasn't because everyone I know that was ridiculously excited about him were let down hard, because (surprise!) he had to move towards the center once he became president and had to actually do the job. 

And now I see it happening all over again. The same demographic (young, often first-time voters) are getting crazy psyched for one man who is going to change everything and make everything better. In some cases, it's the exact same people who were touting Obama's ineffable perfection in 2008. Did they not learn? 

IF Sanders gets the nomination (which I'm really doubtful of, even if he does win the popular vote) and IF he wins the general election (which I'm also doubtful of because if we got all that "socialist" scare with Obama, just think of how bad it'll be with an actual socialist) he'll either have to move towards the center to get things done or he'll stay firmly planted in his far left of center ways and the government will get less done than it does now. Either way, he'll end up disappointing the liberals who got him elected in the first place, just like Obama. Worse than Obama, actually, since his promises are WAY more out of reach than Obama's were. 

By all means, support Bernie Sanders. Just don't make the mistake of thinking he's the Progressive Savior who will change everything. Or anything, for that matter. Nothing big will change under Sanders. Our Constitution was written specifically to avoid huge changes in the system at once. You won't get your student loans forgiven. You won't get free college. The minimum wage won't jump up to $15/hour. Universal health care is not going to happen. Change may come, but it'll take time. More time than Bernie Sanders will have should he become our next president. 

Thoughts on My Ongoing SDCC Dilemma

I first attended San Diego Comic Con in 2013, and it was a magical experience. I attended again the next year, and although it was still ridiculous fun, it was nowhere near the amazing experience from the year before. However, I did sleep in the Hall H line, and that's something every nerd should do. Then 2015 came around and although I purchased a badge, I was not feeling 100% in because A) it wasn't so great the second year and maybe it would continue to go downhill and B) I was (and still am) trying to pay off my student loans and if I was going to spend $600 (give or take) on a vacation, I thought it might be better to do something I hadn't done before. So with just a few months to go, I returned that badge and got my refund.

That turned out to be a terrible decision, of course, because that was the year that Star Wars came back and my friend got into the panel there, which means I would have gotten into the panel, and it was apparently an amazing experience that she will never forget. I have regretted that decision every day since then.

And here we are: three days before badges go on sale and I am wavering in my decision to not go this year.

Arguments in favor of going:
-As far as regrets go, not going last year is probably number two or three on my list.
-There are some great TV shows coming up (American Gods, anyone?) that I would love to see the panels for.
-It's not a super expensive vacation.
-I'm around my people for several days.
-There are always some awesome exclusives.
-It's likely that I won't be able to go in 2017 or 2018 because I will (hopefully) be getting my MBA and it's doubtful that SDCC will happen during a term break

Arguments against going:
-I regret not going last year because of Star Wars, not because of the other awesome panels and Star Wars won't be the big to-do that it was.
-I'm trying to pay off my student loans. I'm on track to pay off my one non-subsidized loan in July, and spending $600 would delay that a month.
-I'm planning on starting an MBA program this fall and paying for it out of pocket. Spending $600 would set me back a bit.
-There have been talks about going on a cruise, to New Orleans, or to Washington, D.C. with people and I probably shouldn't do both.
-I still need to visit my sister in Nashville.
-My friend and I are toying with going to Europe next year during one of my term breaks and that's crazy expensive.
-I have made no plans with people to get down there and share a hotel room, potentially making the trip more expensive.

Money-wise, I shouldn't go. Fun-wise, I'd be stupid not to.

Why I've Decided to Remain Undecided or: I Titled this Piece Before I Finished It

I've voiced these issues with friends, family, and even Facebook, yet I still haven't come to any conclusion.

Clinton vs. Sanders.
Establishment vs. Populist.
Pragmatist vs. Progressive.

I can't freaking decide.

I'm a progressive and a liberal so I should vote for Sanders.

I'm a realist and a feminist so I should vote for Clinton.

I distrust populism in any form so I shouldn't vote for Sanders.

I distrust being unethical so I shouldn't vote for Clinton.

That was zero help.

Let's break this down:

Bernie Sanders - I've been a fan of his for a very long time. I walked past him once in the senate office buildings and was elated. I was riveted by his filibuster in 2010 and I bought The Speech. I think he speaks for the poor and middle class and truly has their best interests at heart. I admire that he was pro-LGBT rights (or at least LG rights) long before anyone else was. I admire that he has fought for the rights of women and minorities. Ideally, I'd like to see most of his domestic policies enacted.

We don't live in an ideal world. If Sanders tried to enact his more extreme policies, he'd only cause more gridlock since Executive Orders only go so far. I don't think he would do a great job at negotiating. Other than the fact that he voted against the Iraq war, I have heard very little about his foreign policy. That could be my fault, but it just doesn't seem like there's much out there. However, what little I have heard (like his rhetoric about preserving manufacturing jobs in America) seems misguided. Although I think I like that he is anti the Pan Pacific Partnership.

Hillary Clinton - I've been a fan of hers for a very long time, too. Growing up, she was the only prominent woman in politics I remember hearing about. She did more policy work as First Lady than probably anyone that came before her. She has a background in advocating and working for people in poverty. She proved to be a great politician and statesman in her own right as Senator. Sure, she always had presidential aspirations, but most presidents do. And yes, she voted for the Iraq war, but think back to 2002. According to Pew, over 70% of the country was in favor of the invasion. She's a self-described progressive but understands the need for pragmatism and negotiating. While a bit hawkish, I've generally been a fan of her foreign policy and her domestic policy is left of center, thereby making it easier to enact.

On the flip side, you can't ignore the emails. At best, she was lazy and didn't want to carry around two phones. At worst, she felt entitled enough to break the rules. Either way, she was unethical (I think it's still TBD if it was criminal) and made a very stupid decision. If anyone lower on the totem poll had done the same thing, they would have been fired, their security clearance revoked, and wouldn't be able to find another job in the federal government. There have also been whisperings about her political donations from Wall Street, foreign governments who contributed to the Clinton foundation, etc. etc. etc. Some of these are without foundation, some of them have very strong foundation. She has a history of bending ethics and that worries me. Although, I have to say, it doesn't worry me all that much because every president in the history of presidents has had similar shady deals, so why hold her to a different standard?

Here's my real beef with Bernie. Listen, I get the whole wanting a political revolution thing. My senior capstone course was essentially about how to fix the Constitution. (Because it sucks. It was great back in 1787, but it sucks now. So much.) But even if Sanders is elected and people starting saying, "you know what? I want a different way of doing government," is the House gonna change? The Senate might, but from where I'm sitting, the House has next to no chance of changing hands until 2022. The reason our House is SO conservative and so unwilling to compromise right now is because in 2010, when the census was taken and districts redrawn, legislatures all over the country were more right than usual because we were in the throws of a massive Obama backlash. Republicans gained control over legislatures, legislatures redrew their districts to unfairly favor Republicans, and Republicans gained massive majorities. It would take huge record breaking number of people voting to change that before districts are redrawn in 2020. Assuming that, Bernie wouldn't have a Democratic majority in both houses until half way through his second term, at which point he will either be 82 or dead unless he is voted out of office.

Yes, Clinton will face the exact same issue (except she'll be how old Bernie is now - 74 - in 2022), but she's not asking for as much as Bernie is. She'll be able to work better with a more moderate Senate. And because she's more moderate, there's a smaller chance that the pendulum will move back to the far right. With a democratic socialist in the Oval Office, do you not think that the backlash of the Tea Party (that has lead us to the utter train wreck that is the current state of presidential politics in the GOP) will rise again? At least with Clinton, there's a chance that people won't notice so much and we can elect someone like Elizabeth Warren next, who will probably be working with a much easier Congress.

I think I've answered my question.

Movies of 2015

This year I'm starting this blog at the beginning of the year. This way I won't have another 2013 mishap where I forget a bunch of movies, nor will I have a 2012-2014 mishap where I forget what I thought of certain movies.

By the way, these are movies I saw in the theater.

1. The Imitation Game

I heard conflicting things about this movie. The screenplay was on the Black List (always a good sign) but I also heard that they downplayed Turing's sexuality, and for a man who was chemically castrated by the government because he was gay, that's a crappy thing to do. However, I totally did not get that vibe. It wasn't the central point of the movie, but it played a pretty large role. Point being, I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. My main complaint is that the movie downplayed the role of women at Bletchley Park. I know that wasn't the point of the movie, but women were code breakers, analysts, linguists, cryptologists... They weren't just secretaries and intercepting messages. But yes, overall, I liked this movie a lot.

2. Wild

This woman is incredible. Her life fell apart after her mom died, so she decided to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. I heard an interview with her when her book came out a few years ago and found her fascinating. I never did read the book, but I totally wanted to. This movie made me want to do something all outdoorsy, and any movie that makes me want to do that is probably a good movie. Cause you know, I like being in nature, I just don't enjoy the strain to get there or staying very long. I like to breath it in, enjoy the scenery, take a few nature shots, then go home and pee in a toilet.

3. American Sniper

The critics aren't necessarily wrong when they say that this movie is very much a 'Murica' movie (aka it kind of punches you in the face with patriotism), but it was still enjoyable (apart from that awful doll they used, because for some reason a baby is hard to come by for one freaking scene). Sure, every single Iraqi was either evil or dead/about to die and the PTSD aspects were more "look, he has PTSD" and less delving into it, but you know, it was a movie. Not Best Picture and Best Actor worthy, but whatever. The Academy can suck it.

4. Selma

Why this movie go the shaft at the Oscars this year is beyond me. I know I've only seen four movies so far, but this one is probably going to be a contender for the best all year. It was incredibly powerful and moving. Seeing this on Tuesday and then hearing Justice Sonia Sotomayor speak on Wednesday made for a very good week, one that reaffirmed the need for everyone (EVERYONE) to vote in every (EVERY) election.

5. The Kingsman

I enjoy going to the theater, and I go a lot. I like sitting in a dark room eating popcorn and watching a film on a giant screen with like-minded individuals (apart from the asshats who won't stop talking or pull out their phones. I promise, we still see it even if you're trying to hide it). So when I say, "it's rare that I have this much fun in the theater," you know I know what I'm talking about. This is one such movie. It was hilarious, witty, action packed, filled with men in finely tailored suits and the sexiest glasses I have ever seen. One joke at the end seemed lazy to me, but other than that, this movie was nigh unto perfection. I loved it. I will most certainly go see it again and I will definitely own it. It is fantastic. 

6. Still Alice

I've always loved Juliane Moore, but after this movie she may have climbed her way up to the top of my favorite female actors list (just beneath Cate Blanchett and Tilda Swinton, because no one can surpass them). Moore is perfect and heartbreaking in this movie. She plays a character with early onset Alzheimer's, and it is a devastating 2 hours watching her deteriorate. I cried about half of the time and ugly face cried multiple times. But good grief, Moore is incredible. As I write this, the Oscars are tomorrow, and she better win. [EDIT: she did win and I am happy]

7. Cinderella

Full disclosure: I don't love Cinderella. I don't even like Cinderella. Not the Disney film and not the character. In fact, after Snow White, that is my least favorite Disney Princess movie, cause at least Sleeping Beauty had a cool villain. This version of Cinderella, while visually stunning, is still Cinderella. They tried to give the step-mother a bit of depth, but fell short of that. They tried to give Ella and the Prince more of an excuse to fall in love, but two meetings really isn't much better than one. And I failed to understand why Ella allowed herself to become a servant in her own house at the age of 18. The whole "have courage and be kind" motto she lived by ended up making her a doormat. And I don't care how awesome a house is, it's a lame excuse for putting up with what she put up with. As far as Cinderella stories go, I thought it was fine. There were fun moments and I was generally entertained, but it's no Ever After.

8. Furious 7

This movie... Man, this movie! My love for this franchise knows no bounds. I still haven't seen one, two, or four, but I probably will. I know they're terrible, but continuity, you know? Furious 7 was not terrible. Quite the opposite, in fact. I saw it opening day (because of course I did). Then that Sunday I had my sister, my parents, my uncle, and a family friend watch Fast 6. It was of course a big hit. The next day my sister and I saw 7. She had been super reluctant to watch any of these movies, but we had a blast in the theater. In fact, we were the only ones laughing when [SPOILERS] The Rock flexes out of his arm cast (!!!!!), Paul Walker and Vin Diesel drive between not two, but three Abu Dabi towers, and at each of The Rock's cliched lines. (Seriously, that's all he spoke in. "Daddy's gotta go to work." "Woman, I am the cavalry!" etc. It was amazing.)

On top of all the awesome that these movies are, they are the most diverse I have probably ever seen. And guess what? 75% of those who saw this movie opening weekend were non-whites. Take note, Hollywood. America wants to see something other than white men all the freaking time.

It was interesting to see it the second time because it was really stark how little Paul Walker was in it. He had a few lines, sometimes you would see him from behind or a profile... it just made it all the harder to watch knowing that he wasn't there for most of it. They did a beautiful tribute to him at the end. I choked up both times seeing it and I'm getting chills just thinking about it now.

Anyway, highly recommend. 7/7 stars, minus all the butts.

9. What We Do in the Shadows

Thanks to my (and many others) generous Kickstarter donation, I was able to see this in the theater (and get a poster). This movie was hilarious. I've always had a soft spot for vampires (well, Buffy and Interview with a Vampire vampires. Did not ever get into Twilight, True Blood, or Vampire Diaries) and this was a great mocumentary on these horrifying creatures of the night. I can't wait to get my giant What We Do in the Shadows poster and hang it up next to my giant Veronica Mars poster.

10. While We're Young

I liked this one. Everyone is awesome in it (the actors, not necessarily the characters). I didn't love it enough to care about this review or see it again, but it was enjoyable.

11. Avengers: Age of Ultron

It was good. Not nearly as fun as the first one, but it's a decent flick (and no, my feminist sensibilities were not offended by that Black Widow monologue). It was kind of obvious that the studio was interfering with what Joss Whedon wanted to do with the characters, and I think that's where it fell for me. Not as much character development (which Whedon wanted to do) and maybe a bit too set up for future movies and action. I also think maybe Whedon's heart wasn't in it as much as last time. The man was tired and had been working for the Marvel Machine for several years, without the ability to really let his creativity flag fly. I'm very much looking forward to what he does next and I think the Russo Brothers are going to do a phenomenal job with Infinity War.

12. Pitch Perfect 2

Aca-awesome! Probably not as good as the first one, but that's due in large part to the fact that the first one was so surprising and new. This one was more of the same, but that same was awesome, so I'm not complaining. Yeah, there was a character who was there for nothing but to be a satire of a racial stereotype, but that satire was so funny, and much less problematic than being an actual stereotype. The music was bigger, the stakes were higher, and the way Becca interacted with the woman from Das Sound Machine was complete and utter perfection. I loved every second of this movie.

13. Mad Max: Fury Road

Speaking of movies I loved every second of... Fury Road hits it out of the water. Or field. Park? I don't do sports metaphors. This film was wall to wall insanity and SO much fun. It was also probably the most feminist movie I will see all year. Despite its title, Charlize Theron's Furiosa is the main character, Max is just along for the ride (though Tom Hardy is in top form, as always). She risks all to save five "breeders," known collectively as "the wives," and take them somewhere they will be safe and away from the horrifying Immortan Joe. Each of the five wives is an impeccable character. The women in this this movie aren't "strong women." They are real women, which is all we really ask for. They are dressed in what you'd expect a sex slave to be dressed in, but they are never sexualized. They are young and have lead lives of "ease" and "comfort" (I put those in quotes because even in the most lavish of circumstances, a sex slave does not live easily or comfortably - not by a long shot), yet they aren't the damsels in distress. They take the initiative to beg Furiosa to take them away and they do what they need to in order to survive the journey.

This entire movie is an amazing spectacle. It's definitely a theater movie. 2 hours of cars driving fast, explosions, and a fire-spewing guitar that played way more of a role than I was expecting. It was awesome. If you like having fun you should see this movie.

14. Spy

I will forever defend Melissa McCarthy as one of the greatest comedic actors of the decade. Sure, there have been some missteps (I'm looking at you, Tammy and Identity Thief), but this woman has chops and is always flawless when paired with Paul Fieg. The frumpy undercover personas she is assigned at first seem a bit cheap, but luckily that doesn't last long, and there are exactly zero (ZERO!) jokes about her weight. In fact, she's freaking amazing at her job - especially the physical, hand-to-hand stuff. Jason Statham has some of the best lines in the movie, and Rose Byrne is spot on, as always. This movie is definitely worth seeing. I need to go see it again because I was laughing so hard at times that I missed what was said (mostly when Statham was talking). 

15. Jurassic World

I went through a lot of emotions with this movie, even before it came out. I started out as unabashedly excited. Chris Pratt? Bryce Dallas Howard? Colin Trevorrow? The writing teams of the new Planet of the Apes franchise and Safety Not Guaranteed? The inevitability that after two horrible sequels, it was statistically improbable that they'd make a third terrible one? Sign me up! 

Then I started to see just how much CGI they used in this movie and they released that horribly sexist clip between the two main characters and my expectations (and hopes) plummeted. 

Still, I agreed to see it opening night. The day I bought my ticket was the day the media embargo ended and it was actually getting fairly decent reviews. Most of what I saw basically said, don't pay too much attention to the plot and you'll have fun. That's exactly what I did. 

Yes, I mourned for practical effects. I rolled my eyes at how angsty Claire seemed about her decision to not have children (it's possible for women to not be angsty about that, I promise). It doesn't exactly paint scientists in the friendliest of lights, which is a shame. The kids seemed shoehorned in there, as did the whole sub-plot about the private military company, or whatever the hell they were. I was also really confused as to what Owen's role was at the park or if he worked for the military douche bag guy and if he did, why wasn't he doing what his boss was telling him to do? Also, how is a former Navy guy qualified to train raptors? Not once did they talk about his experience with other animals. I assume he used to be a lion tamer or something (he had to be, right?), but they only ever talk about his Navy background. And he's also somehow qualified to inspect the structural integrity of the Indominus Rex's cage, but I'm fairly certain he isn't an engineer. And why do movies keep underutilizing Judy Greer?! 

You get my point. The plot was ridiculous, but the movie itself was super fun.

16. Inside Out

Pixar movies have often made me ugly face cry, but none so much as this one. I was... "moody" might be an understatement, but we'll go with that, in my pre-pubescent and teenage years and the way they portrayed how feelings get mixed up and lost was spot on. Because of this I was kind of on emotional edge the whole time. But to see what I went through (and what many of us with depression continue to go through at times) so beautifully portrayed on screen was amazing. And I loved what Mindy Kaling said about the movie after she heard the pitch. She was crying and said that they were making a movie telling kids that it's okay to be sad. And they really did. I'm still getting chills thinking about it. This movie actually made me (briefly) wish that I had kids so I could show it to them.

17. Far From the Madding Crowd

I didn't like this one as much as I thought I would or wanted to. But it was all because of the pacing. I could tell that several years passed over the course of the movie, but it wasn't evident when watching. I really want to read the book now, though. Other than that, this was a great film. It's about an independent woman when women weren't supposed to be independent and of course I'm going to love that. 

Fun fact: the term "cliffhanger" came from Thomas Hardy (the author of this book). He wrote a serialized book called "A Pair of Blue Eyes" and one of the installments ended with a man literally hanging from a cliff. (My dad knows everything.) 

18. Magic Mike XXL

This was going to be a super long review about the female gaze, female sexual expression, and objectification all with the idea of exploring whether it's okay for women to objectify men the way men objectify women, but you can read that debate elsewhere. My personal opinion: this movie objectifies men, but not the same way men objectify women. And maybe it does, but it doesn't have the same negative impact because it's not at cultural epidemic proportions. 

Anyway, this movie was just pure, unadulterated fun. It wasn't as good as the first one, but that made it better. Leave the plot, gain more dancing and laughing and shrieking and fun. 

Going back to the first paragraph though, I do think these movies are pretty ground breaking. They are made specifically for the female gaze and have zero male gaze in them. There are arguably a handful of movies that tilt more towards the female gaze (Marvel movies among them), but they're a drop in the bucket compared to the films that are flush with the male gaze. It's refreshing to have a movie specifically tailored to me. This must be what it feels like to be a white male aged 14-34. Or what it would feel like, if they had any idea that movies were tailored to them. 

19. Ant-Man

This movie was a pleasant surprise. I enjoyed it far more than I expected to, but then again, I went in with very low expectations. It hailed back to the better Marvel movies like Iron Man and Guardians of the Galaxy without quite getting to that level. I liked the lower stakes and I'm sure I laughed a few times (Basically anytime Michael Pena was on screen). The action sequences were still Edgar Wright's, and you could absolutely tell. Those were the best moments, in my opinion. It was fine and I'd watch it again sometime, but aside from Guardians of the Galaxy, Marvel has been feeling painfully formulaic lately.

There were two things I specifically didn't like about this movie. It suffered from Trinity Syndrome (wherein there is a more than capable woman who trains a man to do the job she easily could have done without any training, often because of man feels) and there was a serious lack of Wasp. Yes, Lily's character is presented with the suit and perfectly encapsulates what we've all been thinking ("It's about damn time"), but the promise of Wasp in a future movie is not enough for me. She should have been the main character. This should have been a Wasp movie. (No, I'm not over my white male superhero fatigue.)

20. Trainwreck

I loved every moment of this one. I adore Amy Schumer and this movie was all that I wanted and more. I did not expect to tear up multiple times while watching this. Lebron James was amazing in this. I can't remember watching an actual athlete in anything and thought that they could even passably act, but James is perfection and hilarious. 

21. Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation

These movies are generally a good time, and this one was no different. Solid action flick. I was really hoping that the objectification of Rebecca Ferguson was just in the poster, but nope. Whatever, she was awesome in it. Although maybe someday they'll give Tom Cruise a love interest that isn't 21 years younger than him. 

22. The End of the Tour

This was a good character film. I probably would have enjoyed it more had I known anything about/read anything written by David Foster Wallace, but it was a fine movie. 

23. Sleeping with Other People

You really can't go wrong with a cast that includes Alison Brie and Jason Sudeikis (not to mention Adam Scott playing a scum bag). I don't know why I've always loved the 'friends become lovers' story line, but I'm a sucker for it. Probably because even though I have had many platonic friendships with men and hate the idea that men and women can't be just friends, I really hate dating. A lot. This is that kind of story. It's basically When Harry Met Sally, only better? Featuring more complex characters? Updated? It's been a while since I've watched that one so I can't say anything for sure. Apart from the fact that I'd recommend this movie. And When Harry Met Sally. 

24. Sicario

If this movie had a subtitle it would be Why the U.S. is Responsible for 75% of the Horrible Things Going on in Mexico. Fantastic movie. I'd especially recommend it to youngsters who are considering illicit drug use. Just have 6th graders watch this instead of the ineffective D.A.R.E. program. 

25. The Martian

Did anyone not love this movie? Really, the only thing I can think of to make it better is add more minorities, but that's basically every movie. 

26. Bridge of Spies

I went into this one not knowing much about it and left very happy that I had seen it. One thing that really struck me was watching the Soviets build the Berlin Wall. I've obviously seen images of it being torn down and can absolutely appreciate the significance of it, but I never thought about it being built. It was just there in my head. It was really moving watching that. 

27. Suffragette 

You know me, give me a good female-centric movie and add in political strife and I'm sold. I especially appreciated the fact that this story was told from the perspective of a working-class woman. First wave feminism can too often be very white and middle-class stories, and at least one of those was changed for this movie. Granted, it was mainly white and middle-class women in the Suffrage movement, but I'm all for being more inclusive. I'd still love to see this or a movie like Iron Jawed Angels told from the perspective of a black woman, though. Cause let's face it, women didn't get the right to vote with the Suffrage movement. White women did. 

28. Spotlight

This was hard to watch at times, but definitely necessary. It obviously made me very happy to not be Catholic, but it was really interesting to watch a couple of the reporters (especially Mark Ruffalo's character) go through what they did with their spiritual crises. I could definitely relate to that. It also made me miss good journalism like this. The Internet has kind of ruined fact. 

29. Crimson Peak

I saw this one much later than I thought I would. I had been super excited about this movie since first hearing about it at Comic Con a couple of years ago, and I had planned on going opening night. I can't remember why I didn't (probably because I wasn't in the mood to go alone), but I didn't end up seeing it until it had been out for about a month. I, like many others, thought this was a horror movie and because of that, I think I'm happy I waited to see it. After it came out I read that it's wasn't a horror, but a gothic romance with a few ghosts. Changing my expectations I think helped a lot in my love of this movie. I'm not sure what I would have thought had I gone in expecting to be scared. But oh, this movie. It's absolutely stunning. Both visually and story-wise. I can't wait to watch it again to peel through all the layers. 

30. Spectre

Spoiler in this one. Big fat meh. I am by no means a Bond fan, having only seen Craig's movies all the way through, but come on. Casino Royale was downright entertaining, so I know they can do it. I wasn't feeling particularly fond of this one throughout, but as soon as I figured out that the big bad was some kind of brother figure for Bond, I lost any sense of caring about this movie. Then they went ahead and did the "it's all connected!" route, which was REALLY poor storytelling. Nothing ties these movies together except the main character, but all of a sudden it's the same story of Bond's adoptive brother sending his various goons after him? Ugh, no. My suspension of disbelief is not that strong. 

31. Mockingjay Pt. 2

I had high hopes for this one since I remember liking part 1 so much. This was fine, but now that we have all four movies, I think they split the wrong one. If they were going to make one book two movies, it should have been the first one so the characters could have been fleshed out more. I also hated how much the love triangle was played up. I hated it in the book and I hated it in the movie. 

32. Trumbo

Bryan Cranston, as always, is fantastic. This is a story I wasn't aware of and it was kind of hard to watch knowing that it happened. Yes, the threat of Communist spies was real during the Cold War, but asking people in a Congressional hearing if they are members of the Communist Party is deplorable. Now excuse me while I go watch all of his movies again (except The Brave One. I have yet to watch that for the first time). 

34. Macbeth

Apart from the few plays I have watch repeatedly, I may not super love Shakespeare. I remember adoring Macbeth in high school, but that's probably because I studied it and could understand everything. That was a good 12 or 13 years ago, so this version did not enthrall me the way I remember. It was beautiful and I was mesmerized by both Fassbender and Cotillard, but aside from the overall plot, a lot went over my head. Maybe I'll stick with his comedies that I know inside and out with the occasional Romeo and Juliet when I'm not in the mood to study before a viewing. 

33. Star Wars

Minor spoilers here. Yes, the plot is very similar to the original movie, and yes, the relationships and character development were rushed. Now that we have that out of the way, this movie was fan freaking tastic. There were so many amazing movies this year, but this one had it all: adventure, pain, angst, nostalgia, not to mention a woman and a black man featured as main characters and a Hispanic man as a supporting character. Plus all the background characters who were minorities and women. And a movie as big as Star Wars will probably have a pretty big impact on the industry in the long run, simply because of how diverse it is. Another awesome thing: little girls are going to grow up with a Jedi role model. Girls rarely see positive and well-rounded portrayals of women in movies, but this is going to be a beautiful exception. And not just this one, with the cast of Rogue One, my guess is LucasFilm will be continuing in this positive direction. Movies can play a huge role in how our society is shaped, and this one is definitely going to nudge things in a positive direction. God bless you, Kathleen Kennedy. 

35. Sisters

Not necessarily on my must-watch list, but it was hilarious. Definitely a repeat option for any girls' night. 

36. Creed

It's been well over a decade since I've seen any of the Rocky movies, but I remember enjoying them, and this one was no exception. Sylvester Stallone did a very good job, and Michael B. Jordan is always a treat. It had all I wanted in a boxing movie: shirtless Michael B. Jordan, blood, sweat, tears, slow motion running, slow motion walking, slow motion boxing, and training montages. I couldn't have asked for anything better. 

With five fewer movies than last year, I plan to up my game a bit. Starting with The Danish Girl. 

James Horner, 1953-2015

As I was parking my car last night, I received the following text:

"James Horner died."

There was more to the text, but it took me a couple of minutes to recover from my shock and read it.

James Horner was one of the best film composers alive. He was a huge talent and this loss will be both felt and heard.

I wrote about him briefly in another post about film composers, but this is a good time to pay tribute to Horner.

The following may not be his best compositions, but they're my favorite. Although, his repertoire is long and there are plenty of his scores that I haven't heard.

I know attention spans aren't what they were, but try to listen to the songs all the way through.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan - "Main Title" and "Epilogue"

Two pieces for this one because there's no way I could choose between them.

Braveheart - "Freedom"

When I last wrote about Horner I included "The Legend Spreads," however this piece is objectively the best one from Braveheart. It never fails to give me chills, and today it's making me cry. 

Apollo 13 - "Main Title"

I dare you to really listen to this one (don't multitask) and NOT have a physiological reaction to the trumpet. 

The Land Before Time - "The Great Migration"

This video punched me in the gut before the music even started. But apart from that, this music is perfection (as is the movie). 

An American Tale - "Somewhere Out There"

Who doesn't love this song? You don't have a soul if you don't love this song.

The Rocketeer - "Main Title"

It's been at least two decades since I've seen this movie, but the music still gets me. 

The Mask of Zorro - "Diego's Goodbye"

I loved this movie when it came out and the music was a huge part of that. 

On That Sansa Scene and Why I'm (probably) Done with Game of Thrones

It's been two days since I watched the most recent episode of Game of Thrones and I have read hours of articles and comments on *that* scene. I've decided I need to put my two cents in. That, and I haven't written anything on this blog for quite a while.

This will have a spoiler. It's a medium-sized one if you are not caught up and haven't read the books. If you aren't quite caught up but you have read the books and you know the character switch the show runners made, it's a very minor spoiler. You knew it was coming. And really, if you've been on the Internet, you probably know what happens. But spoiler is after the gifs.

Also, trigger warning.

Yep, Ramsay Bolton raped Sansa Stark. You can skip the next two paragraphs if you're caught up on both the books and the show.

Book version: Ramsay Bolton marries a girl named Jeyne Poole. She is posing as Arya Stark so he can cement his claim to the North. Everything we read about them is from the perspective of Theon Greyjoy, a despicable person who Ramsay has broken through horrifying torture and mutilation. In the book Ramsay marries Jeyne who he thinks is Arya (Theon knows who she really is) and on their wedding night forces Theon to take part, but I won't go into details. Suffice it to say Ramsay goes on to do horrible things to Jeyne (we're never really given details, but we know Ramsay is capable of the worst) and Theon watches over a number of weeks (?) as she deteriorates and is traumatized. Jeyne's story prompts Theon to overcome his fear of Ramsay, rescuing both Jeyne and himself. Which is also a turning point for Theon because he was always of the mind that the lower classes were beneath him and not worthy of his notice. Yes, the rape and torture of a young girl is solely used to move Theon's plot along and that trope is profoundly overused. However, Jeyne is a very minor character in the books and, as horrifying as her story is, it works in context of the story. It's not ideal and still very problematic, but it works.

Show version: Sansa Stark (a main character) has replaced Jeyne Poole (a very minor character). In both the books and the show, Sansa has gone through a horrifying amount of physical, mental, and emotional abuse, and had the threat of sexual abuse has been hanging over her head for far too long. In the books, she is safe posing as another man's illegitimate daughter and is learning how to play the political game. In the show, she marries Ramsay Bolton so he can cement his claim to the North. Her reason for agreeing to marry him is to get revenge on the Boltons for killing her family and hopefully become Wardeness of the North. In the show she has become pretty adept at politics and manipulating people and it has been awesome to see her grow from a victim to a real power player. On the night of the wedding, Sansa was clearly not wanting to consummate the marriage, but seemed prepared for what she needed to do in order to get what she wanted. However, at the last moment, Ramsay Bolton told Theon to stay in the room and watch. Sansa is clearly thrown and horrified and as Ramsay rapes Sansa, the camera closes in on Theon, a broken man, crying as he watches this girl he grew up with is raped.

Here's my beef: 

1. With that last shot of Theon, Sansa's story is not about her anymore, it is about Theon. Yes, this is what happened in the books, but Jeyne is a very minor character. Sansa is one of the biggest characters in the story. The writers of the show have taken away the agency and point of view she had as a major player and used it to shape a male character's story.

2. There was no reason for this scene other than shock value. We know Theon is broken. We know Ramsay is a monster. We know Sansa has experienced a ridiculous amount of trauma. We don't need this scene because it tells us nothing new.

3. Sansa had some power when the three of them entered the room, but none when the scene concluded. Her whole arc in the show has been how she slowly grows from a naive little girl into a powerful and savvy young woman. She isn't completely there yet, but she has progressed leaps and bounds. This scene stripped everything away from her for no reason.

Really, this scene could have played out in a number of different ways that would have shifted the power dynamic and made me hate it less. Here are just a few suggestions: 

1. Sansa orders Theon out, standing up to Ramsay. This would throw him since no one does that.
2. Ramsay doesn't order Theon to say at all. This would have avoided the unnecessary rape entirely.
3. Sansa finds the strength inside her to overcome the massively uncomfortable situation of Theon watching. This would have allowed her to keep the power she had when walking into the room.
4. Skip the wedding night scene all together. Again, WE DON'T NEED IT TO TELL THE STORY OR FOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.
5. Sansa pulls a knife out of her dress and stabs Ramsay before rallying the Northers to take back her castle and position.

That last one is more wishful thinking, but it would make for excellent television.

Point being, there are ways to make that scene (if you REALLY insist on having it) less problematic and let Sansa keep the strength she's gained from going through all those other traumatic experiences she went through.

This is the third time the show has put in a rape scene where there wasn't one in the book. Drogo raping Dany on their wedding night destroys the character he's written as when he goes out of his way to make sure she is consenting in the book. Jaime raping Cersei after Joffrey dies destroys the character development and redemptive arc he goes through in the book. They have consensual sex and he realizes he doesn't want to be the man she wants anymore. He wants to be something better.

It's all for shock value. Yeah, a lot of things are, especially in this show, but I don't want to see the most powerful women in the series be raped when it adds nothing to the narrative. I don't want to see them be raped when it does, but it can happen when done very rarely and tactfully. These scenes have not been and I'm sick of it.

Yeah, Sansa could turn around, still get revenge on the Boltons and retake the North. If that happens, I may start watching again, depending on how the fallout of this episode is handled. But the show runners have given me no reason to hope for that. They're diverging from the books with this story, so I guess anything could happen, but that focus on Theon at the end really does make me think that they're using her rape as character development for him, and I can't handle that.

So I'm done. I'll keep reading the books because they are fantastic and not NEARLY as horrifying as the show (in my opinion), but I'm finished with the show.

On the plus side, I do prefer reading the story first, not watching, so this will take away the dilemma I was facing with the show out-stripping the final two books. So there's that, I guess.