Friday, May 31, 2013

Gender Swapping pt. III: Avengers

It's past time I did another gender swap post. The first two I did were TV shows, but I'm venturing into the realm of movies now. What better movie to start with than than my favorite superhero film? If I'm being honest, this isn't just my favorite superhero film. It's probably in my top ten. At the very least it's on my list of movies I can watch anytime. I may or may not have seen it three times opening weekend...

Nick Fury - Helen Mirren

Because is there really any other choice? I mean, really. Really!

Agent Coulson - Gina Torres


Part of this decision is because I wanted to use Gina Torres because I love Gina Torres, but I really do think she'd make a great Coulson. He's tough but relatable, cold but funny, and Gina Torres exudes that when she wants to.

Maria Hill - Damian Lewis

Maria Hill is a pretty by the book agent and is essentially the opposite of Nick Fury (minus their both being crazy awesome). Who better to play a straight laced agent than Mr. Straight Laced Soldier himself?! I'm sure Damian Lewis isn't really like that. He just plays it really well.

Bruce Banner - Sandra Bullock 

I kept going back and forth between Sandra Bullock and Jennifer Connelly for this one. I ultimately went with Sandra Bullock because I can't say that I've seen Jennifer Connelly be funny, and Bruce Banner has his comedic moments.

Tony Stark - Jennifer Lawrence

 This one was by far the hardest. While I think Jennifer Lawrence is perfect for this role, she's WAY too young to be Tony Stark. But she's no stranger to action, has comedic timing to rival Robert Downey, and she knows how to have fun with her roles. So let's just pretend that she's 15ish years older than she is for this rendition.

Natasha Romanoff - Tom Hardy


Super kick-ass, manipulative (in the best sense of the word), intimidating, and generally awesome. These adjectives don't just describe Black Widow, but almost every character Tom Hardy has ever played. How could he not be great in this role?

Thor - Lucy Lawless

I was really very excited about this one. Seriously, how is this not perfect? It's been a while since Xena, but Lucy Lawless can still make me fist pump whilst almost making me wet myself. I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up being an actual Norse god.

Loki - Kate Winslet

I have a confession. While Kate Winslet was the first person to come to mind, it had more to do with the fact that Tom Hiddleston is one of the sexiest men alive (this is fact) and Kate Winslet is one of the sexiest women alive (also fact). I've had a major crush on her for a long time so it only seems appropriate that she play a character that caused me to have a major crush on Tom Hiddleston. That being said, I do think she'd be a great Loki. She's played darker roles well, but I think it'd be fun to see her as all but evil.

Pepper Potts - Paul Bettany 

This is mostly me being funny. Maybe 'funny' is a strong word...

Clint Barton - Jessica Chastain


I still haven't seen Zero Dark Thirty (I know, I know...), but I have faith in Jessica Chastain's ability to play a special agent again.

Steve Rogers - Emily Blunt


So yes, Emily Blunt is not American and I have her playing Captain America. But she's freaking awesome and I want her to do more action. And I just think she'd do well playing the straight-laced Cap. She would need to bulk up a bit though.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

May 26th

May 26th is going to be a very special day, and I'm sure many of you can guess why. It's the day Netflix un-makes a huge mistake (to borrow from their newest slogan). It's the day Netflix releases 15 episodes of hands down, the best sitcom I've ever seen.

Honestly, I haven't met anyone who has seen this show and hasn't liked it. Quick background in case you know nothing about this: Arrested Development is the funniest and smartest show that has ever been on television. This is a fact. It was on for three seasons beginning in 2003. Fox marketed it terribly (as Fox is apt to do) and its viewership was abysmal despite it winning all the awards. For years there was talk of a movie, but I never thought it would happen. Enter Netflix deciding to produce its own content. While the movie is still a rumor, Netflix is giving us 15 more glorious episodes supposedly leading up to said rumored movie. This alone is reason to keep my subscription for the rest of my life. It's also reason to tell you about many of the things I'm looking forward to come tomorrow (or tonight at 1:00 AM in case I decide to not sleep). 

Chicken Dances

It all began with Gob but we eventually got to see timeless moves from three more Bluths. 

Motherly Love

Brotherly Love

It tastes kind of like sad...

Cousinly Love

Fine Cuisine

Such as Club Sauce...

...juice... cream sandwiches... ham water...

... and mayoneggs


The Seaward

Uncle Father Oscar

No Regrets


Dead Doves



Work Ethics

The Service Industry


(Just FYI, I love everything about Mae Whitman)


The seal is for marksmanship. 

Sad Bluths being Sad

Guy Stuff

They're not very good at "guy stuff"

15 Passing for 30

The Hook


Awareness of Socio-economic Issues


We just call it a sausage...

At the time of this posting, I have a mere 3 hours 18 minutes to wait. I'm going to now include some gifs that demonstrate my joy. Cause after this post I'm really into gifs right now. If I had a tumblr page, I'd use it.