Saturday, December 1, 2012

Time for Some Gender Swapping!

I've decided that I want to gender swap my favorite TV shows and/or movies. I want you to appreciate how hard this is going to be for me. I gender swapped Oz and Wesley in my recasting of Buffy in a previous post, but Mae Whitman and Felicia Day specifically came to mind for those characters. Here, I'm going to have to do it kind of backwards I guess. No female comes immediately to mind when thinking of, say, the 11th Doctor.

Today, I'm going to focus on Supernatural for two reasons. First, I love it. Minus most of season 6 and all of season 7, of course. If I had gotten into this show earlier, I probably would have stopped somewhere in season 6. But I didn't, so I was able to power through 6 and 7 and so far season 8 has generally left me with hope. Thus, my obsession is going strong, if not in full swing.

Second, one of the things I hate about Supernatural is how all the women are either evil or die. Or both. It doesn't keep me from enjoying the show, but it does cause a lot of eye rolling. Because seriously, every single woman. Dead and/or evil. It gets old. This is just a thing to help me feel like I'm getting just a little bit of revenge.

So, without further ado, Supernatural Gender Swap!

1. Dean Winchester: Emma Stone ('Dean' - it's totally a girls name too)

My first instinct was to go with Sarah Michelle Gellar, but I thought that was a bit lazy. Buffy and Dean are almost the same person. In fact, the more I think about it, the more money I'd put on Eric Kripke creating Dean as an homage to Buffy. Besides Sarah, I thought a few people would be able to pull off the oft-closed and sarcastic yet emotional Dean Winchester. Eliza Dushku, Amy Acker, and Emily Blunt also came to mind, but Emma Sone won out.

2. Sam Winchester: Emma Watson ('Sami' or just 'Sam'.)

I had a couple other actresses in mind for Sam, but then I remembered Sam needed to be younger than Dean. I actually had to look up actresses born after Emma Stone (1988 apparently). I came across Emma Watson's name and thought it would be a good fit. She can do the borderline self-righteous, introspective, addict. Looks-wise, the two Emmas (ah! E-squared! Perfect!) have nothing in common besides the fact that they're both beautiful, but that's all Jensen and Jared (J-squared, for all you non-SPNers) have in common too, so it works. Also, she can do the puppy dog eyes.

3. Castiel: Summer Glau ('Castiel' could go both ways. Shortened version would be 'Cass' with two s's, because why not?)


Is there really any other choice for a female Cas? Summer can pull off just about anything. Including the sexy, oblivious, socially awkward, badass, scary, loyal, strangely literal angel. Although it would be a waste to use Summer Glau if Castiel didn't do more hand-to-hand combat. Cause she kind of rocks at that. I want to go watch Serenity now...

4. Bobby Singer: Toni Collette ('Bobbi')


Because she can do anything. United States of Tara alone should prove that. And she really would make a great alcoholic father (or I guess mother) figure. Also because I love her so much. Mainly because she can do anything.

5. Crowley: Christina Hendricks (Since 'Crowley' is a last name, I'm sticking with this one too. I love how unisex all these names are!)

Crowley. One of my favorite characters played by one of my favorite actors. The King of Hell. Sarcastic, hilarious, crazy scary, making you laugh one minute and cutting someone's finger off the next. He's only in it for himself and he'll do whatever he needs to in order for him to survive. Not only do both Mark Sheppard and Christina Hendricks define sex appeal (although let's be honest, no one holds a candle to Hendricks in that department), but I think she would be fantastic at owning the characteristics of Crowley. Christina Hendricks - the Queen of Hell.

In trying to come up with character number six, I decided to look at IMDB to see who has been in more episodes than a handful, and I'm realizing that this is not even a little bit of an ensemble cast. Over 150 episodes and Jim Beaver (Bobby) has been in 54, Misha Collins (Castiel) has been in 49, and Mark Sheppard (Crowley) has been in 19. Those numbers may be a little out dated, but it can't be by all that much. The dumb show kills off too many people! Meaning everyone. If they aren't already dead, every person in this show has died at one point or another. In the case of Dean, multiple times. I feel like I usually watch ensemble shows. This, and I guess Doctor Who, being the exceptions.

I'll stop there for now. The character with the next most appearances is John Winchester (played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Beautiful father to two beautiful boys... even though he's I think 12 years older than Jensen Ackles) and he's at 13 episodes. Mostly I'm just lazy right now though.

IT Friday Rant

The following is an email exchange among the IT professionals in the school district my dad works for.

My dad is JC. Keep that in mind as you read the longest (and in my opinion, best) email.


OK, its "Holy What the Frak Batman" day. 
[rant redacted]
yep, Holy What The Frak

Well frakin' thanks for the heads up! 
[commiseration regarding the rant]
Happy Friday!

"Frakin" really? That is so new-version-Battlestar-Galactica. :)

Well all I can say is, "isn't that special!" 

All I can say is, "Gorrammit!" (Firefly).

Firefly For The WIN!

Okay this has got to stop! 

You have to keep the geek references to the standard material that has already been approved for use in emails - Star Wars and Star Trek with an occasional exception for Battlestar Galactia - but no more... otherwise where will it end?

What's next? References to Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory?

Was that sarcasm? Oh dang, I'm 8 of 24 for the month.

Klaatu barada nikto


Whatch you talkin' bout Willis??

All your base are belong to us

*knock knock* Kirk *Knock Knock* Kirk *KNOCK KNOCK* KIRK

I'm exhausted!
Is it just me, or are circles pointless?

Here is the list of approved sources for geekly quotes and references:
Star Trek (all except Enterprise)
Star Wars (IV, V, & VI); you must be granted preapproval by all involved to use I, II, or III
Battlestar Galactica (all)
Galaxy Quest
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (all five books in the 'trilogy' as well as the BBS TV series; the movie and the original radio dramas are not included)
Dr. Who (all seasons)

With consent from the parties involved in the conversation: 
The Day the Earth Stood Still
The Fifth Element
Warehouse 13
The Lost Room
Starship Troopers

No one is expected to know all reference material from all sources, but if a reference is heard that is not recognized by a party that others recognize, that individual is expected to chuckle and nod knowingly anyway.

If material is repeatedly used from unapproved sources to such an extent as to cause blank stares from others (or the electronic equivalent of same), the individual may be asked to turn in their geek badge, which will be replaced with a nerd medallion. After a suitable amount of time, the person may ask to be reinstated into geek society.

Note: there are separate lists maintained for other genres (horror, pop culture, daytime TV, etc. To gain access to those lists, you will need to apply for membership to the specific organization. Most have reciprocal membership agreements, but membership in the daytime TV group is reason for exclusion from all other groups. 

Since there is a reciprocal agreement between pop culture and geek culture, the "Whatchya talkin' 'bout Willis?" reference is acceptable. There were some that should have been pre-approved, but they will be overlooked this time. 

OK, that was a trick set of guidelines. Enterprise had no memorable quotes.

That's why it is on the exclude list.

Another trick guide gottcha,

If Hitchhikers' Guide is on the approved list, yet "all five books in the 'trilogy' as well as the BBS TV series; the movie and the original radio dramas are NOT included" what, if anything from hitchhikers is actually admissible?

As Marvin the Paranoid Android (and Eeyore) might say, 'This won't end well'

You have to pay attention to the semicolon. That means each phrase can stand alone. Therefore, the books and the TV series are included. The movie and radio dramas are excluded.

But to call oneself a geek, you are expected to know these things. So people be prepared to hand in that Geek Card.

"I've seen the future. It's rubbish." (guess who?) 

I'm invoking executive privilege, and unequivocally vetoing Supernatural. Any series whose writers reference the use of "Pure brass" (Brass being an ALLOY) cannot in good conscience be given a second glance by any self-respecting geek, or organization thereof.

Supernatural is an epic fail. The writing is bad, and you should feel bad. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

So..... No 50 Shades of Grey references? What about Twilight?

Oh I have a very bad feeling about this...

Will these be monitored by LightSpeed? ed.(our content filter)

Anyone found guilty of making a Twilight reference will be sent back to Junior High School where they belong.

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

I think I just threw up a little bit in the back of my throat.

I believe the appropriate metaphor here involves a river of excrement and a Native American water vessel without any means of propulsion. 

TH, don't give me that crap. I've seen you dress up as Mr. Incredible, so I'm free to reference my "inner junior high girl" phase at any time. 

Sorry GH, that falls in the Star Wars non-inclusive section, No Soup For You! Come Back One Year!

I hate to be the one to correct you but they say that in all the Star Wars episodes

Do literary work quotes count?
"Damn it all, this is a monstrous piece of defiance!" Homer's Odyssey
It's just super fun to say.

I don't recall the Simpson's being noted in the 'Approved References'.
Sorry JH, it is fun to say though.

Or in Homer's original - 
Να πάρει όλα, αυτό είναι ένα τερατώδες κομμάτι της περιφρόνησης!

But it's all Greek to me.

Indeed, wow the Greek looks incredible.

More to the point JC, "it's all Geek to you" 

But is it as super fun to say in the original Greek?

You're right, thats no moon....

Due to the IP sharing, and cross licensing agreements with other memes like pop culture, I'm gonna have to allow the Simpsons.

Don't know about any of you, but I'm kind of glad RP had to put up with the stuff from [redacted]. The resulting conversation has made this a most enjoyable Friday. Enjoy your weekend!

You too JC (and everyone else)
Live long and prosper


Never give up, never surrender.


Hey, Is that some of those Chinese swears that Firefly is famous for?

Am I the only one who speaks any Klingon here? Come on guys.

Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam


A few stray observations of my own:
1. I really like my dad
2. IT professionals have abismal grammar
3. Not one mention of Lord of the Rings? Come on!
4. AM has obviously not watched seasons four and five of Supernatural