Thursday, May 26, 2011

Celebrity Crushes

Being a good single Mormon can be a little... difficult at time. My biology and my mind tell me to go in two different directions. My biology says... well, you can probably guess and ignoring that makes me a good Mormon. At the same time my mind says, "boyfriend shmoyfriend" and consequently, "husband shmusband." This part probably doesn't make me a good Mormon, but whatevs. 

Anyway, to balance out these two parts of me I have celebrity crushes. Sure, it isn't a complete balance, but again I say whatevs. This post is a tribute to my celebrity crushes old and new. 

Elijah Wood was probably my first real celebrity crush. Lord of the Rings came out when I was in 9th grade and I was borderline obsessive for a few years. One of the reasons I hated Josh Hartnett so much was he got Elijah into smoking. The best part though - we was only 6 years older than me. Totally realistic that we could end up together someday. Fortunately that chapter in my life has passed. 

Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement aka Flight of the Conchords. My friend showed me Jenny ( I think my freshman year of college and it was love at first sight. I watched their show on HBO and got a bunch of people into them. I bought their albums and listened to snipits of them on the radio. The highlight of our love affair was meeting them in person on my 21st birthday. I was in the Salt Lake City airport with a few other people waiting for the rest of our group when I saw someone like Bret walk through the doors. I thought, "wow, he looks just like Bret McKenzie!" I kept looking at him wondering, but convinced myself that if he really was Bret, Jemaine would be with him. Just at that moment, Jemaine walked in the door with a couple guys carrying guitar cases. I started freaking out and watched them check in from a distance. Once Bret was done he stood near enough to me that I couldn't put it off any longer. I got out a pen and a pad of paper, walked up to him and said, "Bret?" Seriously one of the best moments of my life. 

I think James McAvoy first showed up on my radar when I saw Atonement. I had seen him as Mr. Tumnus but really, who would think of him as sexy? In quick procession I saw his other movies like Penelope, Wanted, Becoming Jane, The Last King of Scotland, Rory O'Shea was Here, and I got all excited when I saw him in one episode of Band of Brothers. Once I found out he was married my feelings began to dwindle. 

This might not even count as a celebrity crush cause my crush isn't on James Marsters, just his character Spike, but I don't care. Spike... Oh Spike. We have reached the portion of this post where we reach current/ongoing affairs. Even though Spike is a fictional character in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, our love is eternal. I don't generally like bad boys, but I have a soft spot for Spike. His long leather jacket over his tight black shirt and black jeans with bleached blonde hair... I love him evil and I love him with a soul. I love him trying to kill Buffy, trying to win her over, and when he's just plain crazy. I will forever act like a 13 year old when I watch Buffy. 

Joel McHale. An almost perfect combination of sexy and funny (see below for perfection). My only complaint is he's too tall. I like my men short. But good golly do I love Joel. Last April he was on tour and the closest he came to me was Las Vegas. My sister, Sara and I decided last minute that we were going to go see him. We took Friday off to drive down to Vegas and saw him perform that night. He was absolutely hilarious. He's on tour again and so far only has Florida and Chicago listed on his website but if he comes within driving distance to me, I'm absolutely going. 

This brings us to my final, biggest, and longest lasting celebrity crush. Jon Stewart. I've been watching his show since high school and I'll watch it till he retires. Which won't be before I make it to the show either as an audience member or a guest. Most likely I'll be in the audience but you never know. I could write an awesome book or hold some awesome political office and he'll want me as a guest. He may be 25 years older than me and happily married with two small kids, but I'd totally let him rob my cradle.