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Saturday, January 5, 2013

Movies of 2012

I got curious a bit ago to see how many movies I saw in the theater this year. With the help of Wikipedia, I now have a pretty substantial list of movies I saw as well as movies that I wish I had seen. Then I thought, hey! Blog!

So below are all the movies I saw in the theater this year and my thoughts on all of them. They're more or less in the order I saw them since I probably saw them all more or less in the order they came out. Just a heads up, I saw 34 movies in the theater this year, so as always, this will be a long post. I'll try to keep my thoughts on individual movies short. Also, there will probably be spoilers.

1. Haywire

ACTION! GUNS! ASSASSINS! EX-MARINzzzzzzz

Really, this movie was so boring. Gina Carano can do some amazing physical feats, but she's a kick boxer, not an actor. And no one else in the movie made up for her lack of ability either. I was really just so bored in the theater.

2. John Carter


And the Princess of Mars. "But we can't use the whole title 'cause 'Princess' will scare off men and 'Mars' will scare off women!" 

Poor judgment on Disney's part, I'd say. They didn't market this film well at all either. It flopped in the box office and its writer/director was kind of demoted. Both of which are a huge shame cause this was a fantastic movie in my opinion. It was super fun with a lot of hilarious moments (VoorGINya) and some great characters. Man, it really makes me sad that we won't see any more Edgar Rice Burroughs stories come to life in the near future.

3. 21 Jump Street


When I heard they were doing a 21 Jump Street movie my first reaction was 'Ugh' with an I-smell-something-terrible face. That only escalated when I heard Channing Tatum was going to be in it. Then I saw the red band trailer. I was probably still a bit wary, but I was very much ready to enjoy it. And enjoy it I did. So much so I think I saw it twice and bought it the day it came out. Probably the funniest movie I had seen since Bridesmaids and I think still the funniest movie I've seen all year. Even the part at the end that made my entire body cringe made me laugh. I don't think there was anything that I didn't like. And being a fan of the show (years after it was on TV since it was technically a bit after my time), I was more than delighted to see Johnny Depp and Peter DeLouise. My sister and I were probably the ones that were laughing the hardest in that theater for pretty much the entire time. Man, it makes me laugh just thinking about it!

One good thing that came out of loving this movie so much: I don't hate Channing Tatum anymore. And it's always a good thing when I don't hate people. Especially people I don't know.

4. The Hunger Games



This came out the weekend after my Spring Break which was perfect timing since I hadn't read the books. I got through the first book that Monday. It's a quick read plus I was starving for fiction. I enjoyed the movie. I probably would have enjoyed it more if I hadn't read the book five days before, but I liked it. Plus, hello! Female protagonist that made oodles of cash! (That, by the way, is the only redeeming quality about Twilight). While I did like the movie, I think it's one of those things that I may like less the more I see it. But I've only watched it once so who knows.

5. Cabin in the Woods



Longest wait ever! This movie was actually made in... 2009? Maybe even before that. As an avid Joss Whedon fan for a good 11 years, I had been wanting to see that movie for years. Stupid MGM bankruptcy... Anyway, this was definitely one of my favorite movies of the year and probably the only scary movie I'll watch over and over again (although Shaun of the Dead, Attack the Block, and Zombieland are all the same vein as well, so maybe I can't say that). That's the beauty of anything Whedon gets a hold of: it's never just one genre.

6. The Five-Year Engagement



This is one of those movies that I remember enjoying, but I don't really remember. Which means I didn't really enjoy it all that much and I'll probably never see it again. But cute Emily Blunt and cute Jason Segel!

7. The Avengers



Avengers. Two Whedon movies in one year. Don't get me wrong, I really like Nolan's Batman trilogy, but hands down the Avengers is the best superhero movie ever made. I saw it either 3 or 4 times the first weekend alone. This is what you call Whedon devotion (in my brother's words, "'Obsessive' is what lazy people call the dedicated.")

I'll never get sick of this movie. I'll never get sick of finding out about the little secrets Joss wrote in. I'll never get sick of Whedon's Hulk. And I will definitely never get sick of how Joss Whedon writes and portrays women as superheroes, not heroines or sex toys. Really, just look at the difference between how Black Widow is portrayed in Iron Man 2 vs. The Avengers. Not a single close up on her boobs in the latter! Here's to seeing The Wasp in Avengers 2!

8. Men in Black 3



I saw this one in the dollar theater. I never saw the second one because it looked terrible. I heard better things about this, and I finally did see it and I enjoyed it. And I totally called it when it turned out that the one other black man in the franchise turned out to be J's dad.

9. Moonrise Kingdom



Charming. Perfect. Favorite Wes Anderson film up to this point. Just... man, it was just perfect. I love all of Anderson's work, but there was just something about this - young love, innocence, coming of age, Rondeau from Abdelazar, the perfect cast... Probably all of those things.

10. Snow White and the Huntsman



Another dollar theater viewing. My friends and I thought it would be fun to make fun of, but it wasn't even that. It was just boring and both Kristen Stewart and Charlize Theron gave pretty dead performances. And what was with the backstory on the Queen? That was kind of worthless.

11. Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted



I've never seen either of the first two Madagascar movies. Quite intentionally. I just didn't have any interest. I heard this one was pretty cute and my friend and I needed something to do one Saturday and we decided to give it a shot. It was worth it for this scene alone:



12. Prometheus


Sigh... The Alien prequel that had so much promise. Visually it was stunning, but there were just so many plot holes that it made it difficult to focus. Plus, the whole emergency C-section with immediate running and jumping and repelling was pretty darn ridiculous. 

If you've seen Prometheus but not the Red Letter Media response, I highly recommend you watch it. Strong language warning (probably).

13. Safety Not Guaranteed


Another awesome one that was charming. A witty chick flick with a sci-fi twist. A friend compared it to The Boy Who Could Fly and it's true, but come on. Mark Duplass and Audrey Plaza!

14. Brave


A very underrated film. But really, first Disney Princess that doesn't get married AND first Pixar movie with a female protagonist? Of course I'm going to love it. Scotland, kilts, archery, and bagpipes, were giant bonuses. I loved the story, too. A torrid relationship between a mother and daughter but it's not about the mother being evil, it's about miscommunication, which always happens when you're a teenager. 

15. Magic Mike


I went into this for one reason, because my friend really wanted to see it and didn't want to see it by herself. I also went into this movie thoroughly expecting it to be 100% ridiculous. I'm a little embarrassed to say that I was wrong. It had a plot. A pretty good one. The acting was actually pretty genuine and I'll admit - the stripping scenes were pretty fun to watch. Fun in a super awkward way, but I laughed and laughing makes me happy. Okay, I'm hanging my head in shame now. 

16. People Like Us


Meh. I probably enjoyed it when I watched it. 

17. Ted


Yeah, fun to watch once. The Flash references were phenomenal. That may be a bit of an exaggeration. I enjoyed the Flash references a lot. 

18. The Amazing Spider-Man


"Ek! We have to make a Spiderman movie so we can keep the rights to Spiderman!" Eh. I liked Andrew Garfield better than Toby McGuire and of course I liked Emma Stone better than Kristen Dunst. That may have been about it. 

19. The Dark Knight Rises


As I said before, I did enjoy this trilogy. The Dark Knight was of course my favorite, but they aren't movies that I watch often. There was a lot I liked about this and a lot I didn't like. Tom Hardy did some amazing acting with just his eyes and Anne Hathaway was the perfect Selina Kyle (she was really very written well too, which is not something that is done often, especially for Nolan). I did have some issues, though. Like some of these...



And most of these... 



20. The Watch



I really wanted to like this movie. Ever since Swingers, I've loved Vice VAughn (even though he hasn't done anything I've really loved since then), 21 Jump Street made me like Jonah Hill, and I REALLY wanted Richard Ayoade's introduction to American audiences to be good. When I went to go see it, it was getting a 12% on Rotten Tomatoes or something, so I went it full well expecting it to suck. Going in with low expectations made it more enjoyable for sure, but this movie was so forgettable that I didn't remember I had seen it even looking through Wikipedia's list of movies that came out this year twice. 

21. Bourne Legacy


I liked looking at Jeremy Renner... That's something, right? 

22. The Campaign


It didn't make me dislike Will Ferrel or Zach Galifianakis...

23. ParaNorman


I was actually pleasantly surprised with this movie. It was very cute. It kind of dragged a bit, but I generally liked it. Although again, nothing specific I could give you right now. I really do have a horrible memory when I don't care enough about something. 

24. Hit and Run


I liked this one. I've always loved Kristen Bell (lots of women named Kristen in this blog post) and Dax Shepard has grown on me. Bradley Cooper was hilarious in this too. It was fun. 

25. Raiders of the Lost Ark


RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK! IN IMAX! 'Nuff said. 

26. The Master


This movie was not what I expected at all. The only movie I've seen from Paul Thomas Anderson is There Will Be Blood and while that one took a bit to get used to, I did like it. I think if I watched it again, I would probably like The Master more. 

27. Looper



Yeah, this was kind of fantastic. I have no strong opinion of Bruce Willis one way or the other, but I love both Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Emily Blunt. However, Pierce Gagnon (the little boy) was the performance that left me awe-struck. Probably because he was 6 when he made the film and he had the acting ability equal to everyone else on set. Good grief, he was amazing. Yes, there were holes in the plot (when aren't there when you're dealing with time travel?), but I loved this film.

28. Argo



Another favorite of this year. Ben Affleck has some stellar directing abilities and I always enjoy Alan Arkin and John Goodman. Besides a few historical details, this movie was pretty accurate. Not only that, but the movie pretty much gave me a panic attack and left me with sweaty palms. I don't often watch dramas multiple times, but I'll probably own this one.

29. Seven Psychopaths



I actually saw this movie and Argo right after each other and it was definitely not too much movie. I may have even liked this one more than In Bruges, although I'd have to watch that one again. Seven Psychopaths was the perfect blend of hilarity and morbidity. Colin, Ferrell, Sam Rockwell, and Christopher Walken of course gave memorable performances, as did pretty much the entire cast. I'm very excited to see what else Martin McDonagh comes up with.

30. Skyfall



Proof to all you haters that I can enjoy misogynistic films despite being a feminist. Really, the fact that I watch anything besides Buffy is proof of that, but I digress. I loved Skyfall. I haven't seen all the Bond films, but I think it's safe to say this one is my favorite. And I do appreciate the fact that the series has become less misogynistic (we've come a long way from Sean Connery "turning" a lesbian by raping her). More action than Casino Royale, more of a plot line than Quantum of Solace, and I loved the little references back to the classic Bond films. Plus Adele gives a perfect performance of a perfect Bond song. The only thing I didn't like was M dying. Everyone needs a little more Judi Dench in their lives.

31. Flight



The longer this movie went on, the less sympathetic Denzel Washington's character was until the very end. At least there was a little redemption there. Even though I didn't feel sorry for his stint in jail, he was a very complex character and I loved watching his and Kelly Reilly's development.

32. Lincoln



If Daniel Day-Lewis doesn't win an Academy Award for this, there is no justice in the world. Even though he has two Oscars already. His performance was haunting and Sally Fields was very impressive as well. But really, this movie was perfect. They portrayed Lincoln as a real person and a funny person (which he was, apparently). I've seen this twice already and I want to see it again and again.

33. The Hobbit



Haters gonna hate, but I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. The scene with the Rock Giants was the only one I found to pull the movie down and even then it wasn't that bad. Also, Jackson is increasingly moving to too much CGI, which is a dangerous thing to do, but it was only distracting once that I can remember. I thought Frodo was miscast (I wasn't unhappy with Elijah Wood, but he was way to young to play Frodo) but they nailed it with Martin Freeman as Bilbo. NAILED! He plays the part perfectly and I can't think of a single person that would do as well as he did. Riddles in the Dark was perfect and Gollum looked even better than he did in LOTR. Richard Armitage was great as Thorin (although he'd be great as just about anything) and he actually makes Dwarves sexy! Who knew?!

34. Les Miserables


Another one where haters gonna hate. I've read a lot of complaints about all the close ups. Well la-di-freaking-da, cause it was awesome. I've seen this show several times (lots of times if you count watching from the pit orchestra) and no one has ever been able to see the actors act up close. This fixed that and I thought it was done beautifully. It was distracting only a couple of times to me.

I loved that they decided to do all the singing on set. It made for not always perfect performances, but much more believable and emotional.

Anne Hathaway was perfect. Perfect! I never fully recovered from "I Dreamed a Dream" and was crying pretty much the entire movie after that. She gave probably the most heartbreaking performance I've ever seen. The music is always powerful, but she made it exponentially more so.

Hugh Jackman was also fantastic. I loved the new "Suddenly" song they put in, although I had my doubts when I heard about it. His performance was superb.

And Eddie Redmayne, anyone? Good grief, that man has a voice! Loved, loved, loved!

The biggest complaint I have is Russel Crowe. I wasn't overly impressed with his singing in the previews and he fell way short of the mark overall. Honestly, the 17 year old who played him at my high school did a better job than Crowe did. I have no opinion of his acting otherwise, but I don't understand why they chose him for this role. "Stars" is one of my favorite songs and he butchered it.

I also didn't like that they took out the saxophone part in "Master of the House." I played the clarinet and saxophone in the pit orchestra in high school and that was my favorite part to play! Very disappointing.

But Hathaway made up for any and all shortcomings :)


Well, that's it. It would have been pretty awesome if I had read as many books this past year... Oh well. I read a lot of Neil Gaiman so that's got to count for something. 

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Time for Some Gender Swapping!

I've decided that I want to gender swap my favorite TV shows and/or movies. I want you to appreciate how hard this is going to be for me. I gender swapped Oz and Wesley in my recasting of Buffy in a previous post, but Mae Whitman and Felicia Day specifically came to mind for those characters. Here, I'm going to have to do it kind of backwards I guess. No female comes immediately to mind when thinking of, say, the 11th Doctor.

Today, I'm going to focus on Supernatural for two reasons. First, I love it. Minus most of season 6 and all of season 7, of course. If I had gotten into this show earlier, I probably would have stopped somewhere in season 6. But I didn't, so I was able to power through 6 and 7 and so far season 8 has generally left me with hope. Thus, my obsession is going strong, if not in full swing.

Second, one of the things I hate about Supernatural is how all the women are either evil or die. Or both. It doesn't keep me from enjoying the show, but it does cause a lot of eye rolling. Because seriously, every single woman. Dead and/or evil. It gets old. This is just a thing to help me feel like I'm getting just a little bit of revenge.

So, without further ado, Supernatural Gender Swap!



1. Dean Winchester: Emma Stone ('Dean' - it's totally a girls name too)


My first instinct was to go with Sarah Michelle Gellar, but I thought that was a bit lazy. Buffy and Dean are almost the same person. In fact, the more I think about it, the more money I'd put on Eric Kripke creating Dean as an homage to Buffy. Besides Sarah, I thought a few people would be able to pull off the oft-closed and sarcastic yet emotional Dean Winchester. Eliza Dushku, Amy Acker, and Emily Blunt also came to mind, but Emma Sone won out.

2. Sam Winchester: Emma Watson ('Sami' or just 'Sam'.)



I had a couple other actresses in mind for Sam, but then I remembered Sam needed to be younger than Dean. I actually had to look up actresses born after Emma Stone (1988 apparently). I came across Emma Watson's name and thought it would be a good fit. She can do the borderline self-righteous, introspective, addict. Looks-wise, the two Emmas (ah! E-squared! Perfect!) have nothing in common besides the fact that they're both beautiful, but that's all Jensen and Jared (J-squared, for all you non-SPNers) have in common too, so it works. Also, she can do the puppy dog eyes.

3. Castiel: Summer Glau ('Castiel' could go both ways. Shortened version would be 'Cass' with two s's, because why not?)

 

Is there really any other choice for a female Cas? Summer can pull off just about anything. Including the sexy, oblivious, socially awkward, badass, scary, loyal, strangely literal angel. Although it would be a waste to use Summer Glau if Castiel didn't do more hand-to-hand combat. Cause she kind of rocks at that. I want to go watch Serenity now...

4. Bobby Singer: Toni Collette ('Bobbi')

 

Because she can do anything. United States of Tara alone should prove that. And she really would make a great alcoholic father (or I guess mother) figure. Also because I love her so much. Mainly because she can do anything.

5. Crowley: Christina Hendricks (Since 'Crowley' is a last name, I'm sticking with this one too. I love how unisex all these names are!)



Crowley. One of my favorite characters played by one of my favorite actors. The King of Hell. Sarcastic, hilarious, crazy scary, making you laugh one minute and cutting someone's finger off the next. He's only in it for himself and he'll do whatever he needs to in order for him to survive. Not only do both Mark Sheppard and Christina Hendricks define sex appeal (although let's be honest, no one holds a candle to Hendricks in that department), but I think she would be fantastic at owning the characteristics of Crowley. Christina Hendricks - the Queen of Hell.

In trying to come up with character number six, I decided to look at IMDB to see who has been in more episodes than a handful, and I'm realizing that this is not even a little bit of an ensemble cast. Over 150 episodes and Jim Beaver (Bobby) has been in 54, Misha Collins (Castiel) has been in 49, and Mark Sheppard (Crowley) has been in 19. Those numbers may be a little out dated, but it can't be by all that much. The dumb show kills off too many people! Meaning everyone. If they aren't already dead, every person in this show has died at one point or another. In the case of Dean, multiple times. I feel like I usually watch ensemble shows. This, and I guess Doctor Who, being the exceptions.

I'll stop there for now. The character with the next most appearances is John Winchester (played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Beautiful father to two beautiful boys... even though he's I think 12 years older than Jensen Ackles) and he's at 13 episodes. Mostly I'm just lazy right now though.

IT Friday Rant

The following is an email exchange among the IT professionals in the school district my dad works for.

My dad is JC. Keep that in mind as you read the longest (and in my opinion, best) email.

RP

OK, its "Holy What the Frak Batman" day. 
[rant redacted]
yep, Holy What The Frak


JW
Well frakin' thanks for the heads up! 
[commiseration regarding the rant]
Happy Friday!

KA
"Frakin" really? That is so new-version-Battlestar-Galactica. :)

NM
Well all I can say is, "isn't that special!" 

AM
All I can say is, "Gorrammit!" (Firefly).

RP
Firefly For The WIN!

GH
Okay this has got to stop! 

You have to keep the geek references to the standard material that has already been approved for use in emails - Star Wars and Star Trek with an occasional exception for Battlestar Galactia - but no more... otherwise where will it end?

What's next? References to Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory?

RP
Was that sarcasm? Oh dang, I'm 8 of 24 for the month.

TH
Klaatu barada nikto

KA
BAZINGA!!!!

JW
Whatch you talkin' bout Willis??

RP
All your base are belong to us

RP
*knock knock* Kirk *Knock Knock* Kirk *KNOCK KNOCK* KIRK

AA
I'm exhausted!
Is it just me, or are circles pointless?

JC
Here is the list of approved sources for geekly quotes and references:
Star Trek (all except Enterprise)
Star Wars (IV, V, & VI); you must be granted preapproval by all involved to use I, II, or III
Battlestar Galactica (all)
Firefly
Serenity
Galaxy Quest
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (all five books in the 'trilogy' as well as the BBS TV series; the movie and the original radio dramas are not included)
Dr. Who (all seasons)

With consent from the parties involved in the conversation: 
The Day the Earth Stood Still
Buffy
Angel
The Fifth Element
Eureka
Warehouse 13
The Lost Room
Starship Troopers
Supernatural

No one is expected to know all reference material from all sources, but if a reference is heard that is not recognized by a party that others recognize, that individual is expected to chuckle and nod knowingly anyway.

If material is repeatedly used from unapproved sources to such an extent as to cause blank stares from others (or the electronic equivalent of same), the individual may be asked to turn in their geek badge, which will be replaced with a nerd medallion. After a suitable amount of time, the person may ask to be reinstated into geek society.

Note: there are separate lists maintained for other genres (horror, pop culture, daytime TV, etc. To gain access to those lists, you will need to apply for membership to the specific organization. Most have reciprocal membership agreements, but membership in the daytime TV group is reason for exclusion from all other groups. 

Since there is a reciprocal agreement between pop culture and geek culture, the "Whatchya talkin' 'bout Willis?" reference is acceptable. There were some that should have been pre-approved, but they will be overlooked this time. 

RP
OK, that was a trick set of guidelines. Enterprise had no memorable quotes.

JC
That's why it is on the exclude list.

RC
Another trick guide gottcha,

If Hitchhikers' Guide is on the approved list, yet "all five books in the 'trilogy' as well as the BBS TV series; the movie and the original radio dramas are NOT included" what, if anything from hitchhikers is actually admissible?

As Marvin the Paranoid Android (and Eeyore) might say, 'This won't end well'

JC
You have to pay attention to the semicolon. That means each phrase can stand alone. Therefore, the books and the TV series are included. The movie and radio dramas are excluded.

DD
But to call oneself a geek, you are expected to know these things. So people be prepared to hand in that Geek Card.

AA
"I've seen the future. It's rubbish." (guess who?) 

AM
I'm invoking executive privilege, and unequivocally vetoing Supernatural. Any series whose writers reference the use of "Pure brass" (Brass being an ALLOY) cannot in good conscience be given a second glance by any self-respecting geek, or organization thereof.

Supernatural is an epic fail. The writing is bad, and you should feel bad. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

MC
So..... No 50 Shades of Grey references? What about Twilight?

GH
Oh I have a very bad feeling about this...

RT
Will these be monitored by LightSpeed? ed.(our content filter)

TH
Anyone found guilty of making a Twilight reference will be sent back to Junior High School where they belong.

JW
I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

JC
I think I just threw up a little bit in the back of my throat.

JW
I believe the appropriate metaphor here involves a river of excrement and a Native American water vessel without any means of propulsion. 

MC
TH, don't give me that crap. I've seen you dress up as Mr. Incredible, so I'm free to reference my "inner junior high girl" phase at any time. 

KA
Sorry GH, that falls in the Star Wars non-inclusive section, No Soup For You! Come Back One Year!

JW
I hate to be the one to correct you but they say that in all the Star Wars episodes

JH
Do literary work quotes count?
"Damn it all, this is a monstrous piece of defiance!" Homer's Odyssey
It's just super fun to say.

JW
I don't recall the Simpson's being noted in the 'Approved References'.
Sorry JH, it is fun to say though.

JC
Or in Homer's original - 
Να πάρει όλα, αυτό είναι ένα τερατώδες κομμάτι της περιφρόνησης!

But it's all Greek to me.

JH
Indeed, wow the Greek looks incredible.

KA
More to the point JC, "it's all Geek to you" 

RP
But is it as super fun to say in the original Greek?

RP
You're right, thats no moon....

RP
Due to the IP sharing, and cross licensing agreements with other memes like pop culture, I'm gonna have to allow the Simpsons.

JC
Don't know about any of you, but I'm kind of glad RP had to put up with the stuff from [redacted]. The resulting conversation has made this a most enjoyable Friday. Enjoy your weekend!

KA
You too JC (and everyone else)
Live long and prosper

AA
Indeed! 

RP
Never give up, never surrender.

TH
Sambe'lu'

RP
Hey, Is that some of those Chinese swears that Firefly is famous for?

TH
Am I the only one who speaks any Klingon here? Come on guys.

RP
ghobe'
Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam
Qapla'

TH
maj



A few stray observations of my own:
1. I really like my dad
2. IT professionals have abismal grammar
3. Not one mention of Lord of the Rings? Come on!
4. AM has obviously not watched seasons four and five of Supernatural