Thursday, August 27, 2009

Coming to terms

So I'm slowly coming to terms with my situation in life. I'm not going to lie - it has been (and will continue to be) a very slow and somewhat painful transition from college and independence to work and home life. However, with the promise (or at least the possibility) of graduate school next year, frequent trips to Logan, and reconnecting with old friends and slowly making new ones in Utah Valley, I am beginning to enjoy life on a more regular basis. I decided that probably the hardest thing moving back home and graduating was the fact that I wasn't working toward anything. My whole life I've been working towards some longish or short term goal whether it be a tournament somewhere, a music festival or concert, high school graduation, college, internship, and eventually college graduation. I've always had something ahead of me to look forward to. When I came back I didn't really have that and I found it extremely frustrating. I have however, remedied that lack of...let's say a path towards accomplishment. I have plenty of things to accomplish while I'm living at home. Paying off loans by next fall, applying for and hopefully getting into graduate school, volunteer work, and now perhaps a car payment (as of Saturday my car is totaled. Not by me though. I actually don't know why I put this in the list of things I have to look forward to. Let's say a new car then). Plus there are little things too, like I want to knit and/or crochet something besides a scarf and a baby hat that my mom starts and finishes. I also am learning how to drive a stick. I made it all the way from the Century 16 theater on 3300 South to Orem only stalling once in the parking lot (I was actually so excited that I didn't stall on 33rd that I blasted the music on the freeway and sang at the top of my lungs).

So there you have it. I still would rather be in DC or Logan (or Portland, Seattle, New York, Boston...), but I'm ok with Utah Valley for now. I think especially since I'm actively applying for graduate school and looking for jobs back east. But it's not just the promise of leaving that I feel good about (although I am looking forward to that part). I am ok with living here...and that's a huge step for me :)

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