Celebrity Crushes

Being a good single Mormon can be a little... difficult at time. My biology and my mind tell me to go in two different directions. My biology says... well, you can probably guess and ignoring that makes me a good Mormon. At the same time my mind says, "boyfriend shmoyfriend" and consequently, "husband shmusband." This part probably doesn't make me a good Mormon, but whatevs. 

Anyway, to balance out these two parts of me I have celebrity crushes. Sure, it isn't a complete balance, but again I say whatevs. This post is a tribute to my celebrity crushes old and new. 

Elijah Wood was probably my first real celebrity crush. Lord of the Rings came out when I was in 9th grade and I was borderline obsessive for a few years. One of the reasons I hated Josh Hartnett so much was he got Elijah into smoking. The best part though - we was only 6 years older than me. Totally realistic that we could end up together someday. Fortunately that chapter in my life has passed. 

Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement aka Flight of the Conchords. My friend showed me Jenny (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlYkIJVguCU) I think my freshman year of college and it was love at first sight. I watched their show on HBO and got a bunch of people into them. I bought their albums and listened to snipits of them on the radio. The highlight of our love affair was meeting them in person on my 21st birthday. I was in the Salt Lake City airport with a few other people waiting for the rest of our group when I saw someone like Bret walk through the doors. I thought, "wow, he looks just like Bret McKenzie!" I kept looking at him wondering, but convinced myself that if he really was Bret, Jemaine would be with him. Just at that moment, Jemaine walked in the door with a couple guys carrying guitar cases. I started freaking out and watched them check in from a distance. Once Bret was done he stood near enough to me that I couldn't put it off any longer. I got out a pen and a pad of paper, walked up to him and said, "Bret?" Seriously one of the best moments of my life. 

I think James McAvoy first showed up on my radar when I saw Atonement. I had seen him as Mr. Tumnus but really, who would think of him as sexy? In quick procession I saw his other movies like Penelope, Wanted, Becoming Jane, The Last King of Scotland, Rory O'Shea was Here, and I got all excited when I saw him in one episode of Band of Brothers. Once I found out he was married my feelings began to dwindle. 

This might not even count as a celebrity crush cause my crush isn't on James Marsters, just his character Spike, but I don't care. Spike... Oh Spike. We have reached the portion of this post where we reach current/ongoing affairs. Even though Spike is a fictional character in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, our love is eternal. I don't generally like bad boys, but I have a soft spot for Spike. His long leather jacket over his tight black shirt and black jeans with bleached blonde hair... I love him evil and I love him with a soul. I love him trying to kill Buffy, trying to win her over, and when he's just plain crazy. I will forever act like a 13 year old when I watch Buffy. 

Joel McHale. An almost perfect combination of sexy and funny (see below for perfection). My only complaint is he's too tall. I like my men short. But good golly do I love Joel. Last April he was on tour and the closest he came to me was Las Vegas. My sister, Sara and I decided last minute that we were going to go see him. We took Friday off to drive down to Vegas and saw him perform that night. He was absolutely hilarious. He's on tour again and so far only has Florida and Chicago listed on his website but if he comes within driving distance to me, I'm absolutely going. 

This brings us to my final, biggest, and longest lasting celebrity crush. Jon Stewart. I've been watching his show since high school and I'll watch it till he retires. Which won't be before I make it to the show either as an audience member or a guest. Most likely I'll be in the audience but you never know. I could write an awesome book or hold some awesome political office and he'll want me as a guest. He may be 25 years older than me and happily married with two small kids, but I'd totally let him rob my cradle. 

The Hilarity of Ignorance

I need to explain where my main idea for this post is coming from. I recently saw an interview on Jon Stewart with Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of South Park. That show is really hit and miss with me, but in general I think those two are pretty funny. When I heard they were making a Mormon musical on Broadway I didn't give much thought to it, although I was curious. I essentially forgot about it until their interview and it's getting such fantastic reviews that I may end up seeing it when I'm in DC this summer. I'm comfortable enough in my beliefs and religion that I can laugh at it. I think it's good to have a sense of humor about religion.

But this is beside the point. This clip from The Daily Show has a plethora of comments on Facebook and some of them were quite entertaining and I just wanted to share them with the world. Or at least the 8 people who follow this blog. I'm glad I'm not friends with people like this but I'm sure glad they exist for me to laugh at:


Mormonism is a cult.


Religion kills.


The Morman religion is a cult, not young and American! [Trey and Matt described Mormonism as being young and American as it is a new religion and born out of America]


Mormon is not a religion. It's a joke.


Id eather give more time and respect to jehovahs witnesses before a Moron. Rather*


Mormonism. The last acceptable persecuted religion in America.All religion is a cult and does nothing but tear the World and country apart


The Mormon church has a bigger welfare system than the federal government. You'd think liberals would care about that.


They are excellent socialists... they just don't admit it. (shy I guess)


Wow. You guys talk about Mormons like 18th century slaves or the Irish. Get a clue.


Brainwashed .. All of them ..


Religion is for the weak.




Just some choice gems. I made commented that I had been thoroughly entertained by some of the statements made there as a Mormon and not five minutes later a man sent me a message asking what convinces me that God exists. Not in a, "how can you be so ignorant" kind of way though. He's sincerely interested in my personal experience. 


Loving Jon Stewart has given me a missionary opportunity. Who'd have thought? :)

Ladies and gentlemen... The Beatles!

I've been on a Beatles kick the last few days. I always listen to them, but at times like this I breathe them. I watched Nowhere Boy Wednesday night and that kind of set me off. I found The Beatles Anthology on YouTube and I've been watching that since then.

Best part about this story is how I remember watching it when it was on TV and staying up past my bedtime to do so when I could pull it off. I looked it up and it aired in 1995. I will be the first to admit that I was annoying as hell as a child, but there were awesome aspects of me too. I loved The Beatles so much that I was willing to sit through a documentary about them at the age of 8.

Revelation

I'm tired and my computer is about to die, but my heart is full right now and since I'm not one for bearing my testimony in front of an audience on Fast Sunday, I'll do that now.

I'm at my parents house tonight and when I'm here I read out of one of those flimsy paperback Book of Mormons. This particular one is one that I had planned on giving to a friend in high school, but ended up giving them a different one. Anyway, I have it and it has some really great scriptures highlighted. When I'm here I usually just flip through the book and read some of the highlighted passages. This one sentence in Mormon 5:23 had an enormous impact on me:

"Know ye not that ye are in the hands of God?"

I felt a sudden rush of gratitude and joy at these words. I'm glad I have the Lord directing my life. I'm glad that I have the trials that I do. Cancer still sucks, but even if my mom departs this world prematurely, I will see her again. She will be saving a place for me in the next life and once there, I will hardly remember my life without her and I won't think on it with pain. It's excruciatingly painful now, but this life is just a moment in our existence. I don't think I've ever been more grateful for eternal families than I am right now.

In my moments of doubt and trying to rationalize religion (don't ever do that by the way) I have thought, "even if it isn't true, it's making me a better person right now." The first part of that sentence is a scary one. If it isn't true, why bother? If families aren't forever, what's the point of sticking around? That "even if it isn't true" is something that I've only thought a couple of times in my life and it's something that I am determined never to think again. How can it not be true when I'm feeling what I'm feeling right now? How can it not be true when I've felt this way hundreds of times before?

This moment is the first time I have felt ok with whatever may happen. Even if the worst should happen, it will be ok. Yes, it will be devastating and horrible and totally suck, but it will be ok. I wish I had felt this last July, but better late then never!

Who says the spirit goes to bed at midnight? :)

The C Word

Movies, TV, radio, and people around me need to stop talking about cancer for a while. Nothing can hinder me from life as much as that one little word right now.

Photo Post February 2010 Edition

About a year and a half ago I decided to post some photographs of mine. At the time I said I'd continue to do so, but I haven't. Part of the reason is I've let my photography skills fall by the wayside. I have 6 of my favorite photos framed on my wall and every day I look at them and wonder why I don't take pictures like that anymore. It's been a while since I've pulled my trusty Nikon SLR out (minus at the Rally to Restore Sanity so I could use the telephoto lens) and I miss it. Anyway, here are some of my favorites since my last post. There may be duplicates since I don't know what photos I posted last and I don't want to take the time to look.


This would be a lot better if the pathway led t something other than a brick wall. This was in Colonial Williamsburg in Virginia two years ago.


This might be my favorite of any picture I've ever taken. I'm sure there are flaws with the framing, lighting, exposure... but I don't see any of that. I see a mist over Arlington National Cemetery. One of my favorite places in the world.


I think this was sometime in high school. Still one of my all time favorites.


This is my friend's backyard in San Diego in... 2006? And to answer your question, yes, I did put the leaf there.


Still friend's house in San Diego. He had a really cool backyard.


This is from Rome last May. This particular photo was taken at some ruins called Ostia Antica about 45 minutes outside of Rome. Probably the only picture I took in Rome that isn't all touristy.


I took this one in November of 2009 in California. I don't know why I love it so much, but I do. It is square on purpose if you were wondering.


The Colombia River in Spokane sometime last year. The picture kind of sucks, but the view was breathtaking.


A bridge somewhere in Idaho on the way up to Spokane last year. I went up twice and I can't remember which time this was taken. My OCD wants to clean some of it. Specifically the beam on the right closest to the camera. Seriously, why aren't they both dirty? I could have handled them both being dirty...


I added this in there just because I thought it was so hilarious. I found this at Swiss Days in Midway this summer. This painting has it all - Obama standing defiantly on the Constitution/Declaration of Independence (I guess that's left up to interpretation), Jefferson in shock at his lack of respect for the document, Washington, some other founding father, Adams, Reagan, Lincoln, and Jackson desperately trying to get Obama's attention on the downtrodden every-man (of course, as far as policy goes, Adams, Reagan, and Jackson weren't exactly champions of the little man, so that's awesome), Kennedy kind of pointing to the document but still doesn't seem all that into it, Bush II pointing at the every-man but really on the side of big government, Clinton and FDR cheering Obama on (want to talk about big government spending? Generally you wouldn't talk about Clinton as much as Bush and Reagan), and all the other presidents clearly taking sides showing their true loyalties. I still laugh when I look at this.


Just a beautiful fall day behind the Capitol in October.


By far my favorite picture of the Capitol I've taken thus far (let's hope there are many more). You really do need to enlarge this one to see the goldish tint from the sun. I'll eventually photoshop the people and the crane out of this shot, but oh how I love it. Sunrise and Sunset at the Capitol are amazing.

Snippet of my life

Courtesy of At Wit's End Comics. This pretty much sums up what living in Utah Valley (and most of the state) is like.

Musings

It's 11:04 and I am not going to bed. Reason? Because tomorrow I work at 9 instead of going to school at 8:35. Meaning I get to leave the house at about 8:55 instead of 8:00. So even though turning out the light and focusing on my breath (that's how I fall asleep these days) sound beautiful to me right now, I'm going to wait because I can.

Musing number 1. No offense to those of you who have babies, but they're weird. I get zero enjoyment at looking at pictures or watching videos of random babies. Nor do I appreciate little clothes. However, there are three (soon to be four) exceptions to this rule: Tamsine Jane Christensen, Elliott John Ashley, Isabel [Danger] Gillis, and the future Heidi something Christensen. My nieces and nephews are pretty much the coolest things ever. Knowing that I not only love those three but actually like them gives me hope that I'll like my own kids even more. I had my doubts before Tamsine. But I just don't get other babies. I don't dislike babies, but I'm not one to ooh and aah like I feel like a lot of women are.

Musing number 2. I'm about 95% sure I'm going back to D.C. this summer. I've applied for one internship so far (I don't know if I can tell you where it is so I'm going to stay on the safe side and leave that part out) and I'm in the process of applying for several more just in case with the help of the Hinckley Institute of Politics and some woman in the College of Social Work I had never heard of until today. I'm still hoping for the first one that I won't tell you about, but I won't know until sometime between February 21st and May 31st. Let's hope it's sooner rather than later.

Musing number 3. For those of you who are interested (which better be all of you), my mom is almost done with her cancer treatments for now. She's been done with chemotherapy for a couple months and has only three radiation treatments left. As of Monday afternoon, she will be totally done (minus the CT scans every three months, then every six months for the rest of her life to make sure those damned cells stay dead). Her hair is starting to grown back and she has TONS more energy with radiation than she did with chemo. It's been very heartening to see her getting back to normal. The worst part of all this (besides the obvious, "my Mom got cancer") is that we'll never really know it's all over until, well, it's over. This existence at least. Probably the best part about all of this is knowing that this isn't it. Until then, it still sucks. But as someone close to me who will remain nameless to protect their anonymity would say, f*** cancer.

2010 Person of the Year

When I saw the list of finalists for Time Magazine's 2010 Person of the Year, I had many thoughts about many of the candidates and felt inspired to blog because this would be a very long Facebook status. So here's the list of people I had thoughts about. Mainly negative...

1. David Cameron - I immediately thought "James Cameron" and wondered what shallow moron would nominate him. Then I remembered that David Cameron is the Prime Minister of the UK and not the director of Avatar.

2. Lady Gaga - Again, I wondered what shallow moron would nominate her. There was no follow up to that.

3. Glenn Beck - Really?

4. Hu Jintao - Awesome. Let's give recognition to the leader of the country with one of the worst human rights records in the world. The man responsible for ethnic cleansing. The man responsible for exploitation. The man responsible for the steady disappearance of the many beautiful minority cultures, religions, and languages. But hey, China's economy is growing quickly so that must trump everything else.

5. LeBron James - He plays basketball and... what else?

6. Hamid Karzai - Cause we all know the good he's doing for Afghanistan...

7. Sarah Palin - I get that about 45 percent of Americans have a favorable view of her and she's an important political figure (as much as I hate to admit it), but what has she actually done besides endorsed a lot of candidates who probably promised to endorse her in 2012?

8. Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf - Because he wants to build a community center? A controversial one that didn't become controversial until just before the elections when politicians decided it was going to be controversial?

9. Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert - A nomination I can get behind :)

Maybe my criteria for Person of the Year is different from Time's. For example, I would say they shouldn't be evil, polarizing, taking cash from our enemies when we're pouring money into their country, or willing to wear raw meat. Ideally, the Person of the Year should accomplish some pretty awesome stuff. But that's just me.

Cancer Sucks and Other Updates

So it's been 6 months since I've posted anything. Mainly because I didn't care even though I had plenty of time. Now I have pretty much no time and I still don't really care but I find myself typing anyway.

Cancer Sucks and Other Updates. Let's start with the Other Updates first.

1. I did not go to the Daily Show. Bummer. Instead, I went to Rome. Not a bummer. My good friend Angela convinced me that we shouldn't go anywhere until we go out of the country. After a long debate on where to go (Spain, Amsterdam, Rome, and Ireland were in the running) we decided on Rome. And when I say we decided, I mean Angela talked me into Rome. I'm glad she did cause it was a perfect place for our first European experience. We found a really nice hotel a short bus ride from the metro and found the city extremely easy to navigate thanks to our superior Metro skills learned in DC. We were gone for a total of a week and it was AMAZING. One of the long term benefits from the trip was it converted me to dresses and skirts. We read that you shouldn't wear jeans in Rome (it's a lie by the way - plenty of natives were wearing jeans) so I packed dresses and skirts and I love them now. I'll wear them on a weekday. Freak out.
2. I quit my job and went back to school. I'm in the third week of my MSW program at the U and I'm liking it a lot. I've pretty much decided that I am definitely not going to be a clinician. I didn't know what I wanted to do with social work when I decided I was going to get an MSW and I'm a little closer to having that figured out. It sucks because 99% of my fellow students want to be therapists so the program is geared around that to a degree. Every semester I have to take a practice class so by the end of the 2 years I'll have the skills to be a therapist, but perhaps not the drive. I'm thinking more on the policy level which makes sense considering my background. There's always international development too. I'm planning on emphasizing in international social work which would help out and I'm also looking into getting a women's health certificate. That one is 15 credits so it would be more intense and I would probably have to take summer classes, but it still looks really cool. I'm talking to the professor in charge of both those programs tomorrow about the reality of doing both.

3. I'm an aunt again. My sister Cecily had her first daughter in April. She and Mike named her Isabel Danger Gillis. Her middle name isn't really Danger. I don't think she has one. She's just so stinking cute though! It's amazing - I don't like babies or kids at all really and yet my nieces and nephew are the coolest things EVER! It gives me hope that someday I'll be ready for kids myself and when I do, I'll like them. I'll be an aunt for the fourth time in I think April. Leith is pregnant with her and Mack's second. I feel bad for my kids. All their cousins will be so much older than them. If I'm lucky Cecily's youngest and my oldest will be about the same age.

That's pretty much it for Other Updates. Now for Cancer Sucks. My mom was diagnosed with Leiomyosarcoma this summer. It's a pretty nasty type and we were pretty much freaking out when we first found out, but they caught it fairly early so we have hope. She starts chemo at the Huntsman Center tomorrow. She'll be doing chemo for 3 months and if she stays cancer free for 18 months she's pretty much in the clear. There's about a 50% chance of that happening. Even when that happens though (not if, when) she'll have to go in for CT scans every couple months for the rest of her life to make sure no new tumors develop. It sucks, but I'll take CT scans and the worry that results might come back not great over the alternative.

I've been freaking out since we found out and even though it's been better since that first week, it hasn't been great. I've been in Salt Lake for about a month now and I still feel weird about moving out but my mom has said time and again that I shouldn't put my life on hold. I know that's true, but I still want to. My mom says she freaks out every now and then too but I haven't really seen it. She's always been the happiest and most optimistic person I know and even though she's the one with cancer, she's been my anchor through this. Her and my Heavenly Father.

I always wondered how I'd react as far as spirituality goes to news like this. The why her, why now, she's the last person that deserves this all continually pass through my head and end up in my prayers, but this has been the biggest faith promoting experience for me by far. There's not a doubt in my mind that she can be healed permanently. I try not to wonder if she will - I just focus on my faith that she can be.

Earlier this summer I went to Las Vegas with some friends. Angela likes to play question games when we're on road trips and one of the questions was something to the effect of, if you knew you were going to die early, would you still have kids? Ben and I both said, of course. Children are resilient and they'll get over it. Angela and Michon said no. If their mothers died now they'd be completely devastated and Angela went so far as to say she'd rather go with her mom. At the time I thought, man, I love my mom, we're really good friends, and I would be devastated if she did die, but life goes on. I'd get over it. Deep down I still know that's true, but faced with what we're faced with now, I have to search to find the "life goes on" mentality.

Ok, that's my bit of morbidity. I really do have a lot of hope. My mom had her one and only tumor removed, she's going to see an amazing oncology team at one of the 26 sarcoma centers in the United States, she's optimistic and full of life, and she has the love, support, and prayers of everyone around her. I love you, Mom!